My Blog My Life: January 2011

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I Want Wednesday

There is no shortage of "wants" this week (or last)....so much cute stuff out there!!

I want: a couple of these American Crafts 8.5x11 scrapbook albums. I'll take a couple in red and a couple in black please.

I want: this lovely Detroit Tigers laptop skin!! I love it!!

I want: this Detroit Tigers iPhone case...you know since I can't get the one I posted about yesterday. This one is much more affordable. :)

I want: these pajama pants. A girl can NEVER have too many pajama pants! Go Blue!! :)

I still (really really) want: this snow hat...I'm pining for it and haven't stopped thinking about it since last week. I love love love it!! I may "cave" & buy it. :)

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Lately I've been thinking that my life is "done"...there's nothing more to accomplish, that now that I am finished w/school & working full time as a school counselor, that is it and there is nothing more for me to do. All my days will be fairly similar.

I'm conflicted by these feelings because a huge part of me feels like I'm meant to do or be more...not sure what exactly, but I'm having a hard time accepting that "this is all" there is for me. Seriously!?! OK - all of this made more sense in my head...it's hard to actually type out.

For example, I am constantly thinking about how I can create my own business, I have has this feeling for years...preferably something crafty...and maybe that's unrealistic of me, but I feel surrounded by people who have done exactly that. Maybe it's just the feeling of "success" that I want because I certainly DO NOT have it right now. I want something ALL MY OWN, that I made/created/established and can feel PROUD of. I do not have that. And I want it. I realize it's up to ME to get there...but I constantly feel stuck or unable to get there. It's always out of reach. There seems to always be something preventing me from this.

I would love a business like this...amazing if you ask me...and I read somewhere that her business grew way faster than she ever expected...she has 5 (or more) people working for her now. I believe her set up is all at home too. She is a mom to a couple kids here at the school where I work. She makes some super cute things...I am pining for the personalized iPhone case...but the $55 alludes me. Anyway, should you happen to buy something from her, please let her know the "SHCS Counselor" sent you her way...I don't get any kickbacks, but I'm sure she'd like to know.

And there are the countless cute & creative shops on Etsy...which make me wish I had one...it's at least a great place to get started. This too, alludes me.

So that's where I am right now. Not a great place...but sort of where I've been for the past few (bazillion) years now. Sick of it. Yes. Wishing something would change. Yes!!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

pity party episode

So this has been on my mind once the new year hit...I turn 40 this year. That is NOT the reason for the pity party, although it is directly related.

If you've been reading for any time at all, you know that my mom re-married about 5-6 years ago. Anyway, her husband has two children from his previous marriage. A son...about 45ish and a daughter, who just so happens to also turn 40 this year...this month.

I have mixed feelings over this entire pity party scenario because the daughter is a nice person, however we are on such different levels...in all areas. In the forefront, she has no kids and is professionally grossly successful. For the past 3ish years I feel that I've been compared to her...in terms of financial success and more recently, physically as she dove headfirst into running a couple of years ago and has ran 2-3 full marathons by now as well as countless other races. I believe she has even registered for a marathon in Greece...

I could go on and on about all that she has and all that I don't have, but that would take days...my main issue for the pity party is that for her 40th birthday, she and her husband went to Hawaii...where they ran a 1/2 marathon together (today) etc. etc. I probably need to HIDE her updates on FB at this point, for self-preservation purposes only.

Oh and the son is also quite well off, so while I'm at the total polar opposite of that, it's embarrassing and humiliating. If my mom helps me w/anything she has to 'hide' it from her husband because in her words "he has never done that for his kids"...well duh...they are rolling in dough, so he's never had to. I responded "yeah, well I'm the loser step-daughter...blah blah blah" to which she responded with that was not what they thought...sorry, hard to believe.

OK - the main issue is that while I know I won't be in HI in August for my 40th birthday...I am pretty certain that the day will pass by like any other and I am ~~somewhat~~ quite a bit upset about that. The only way anything fantastic or extraordinary would happen would be if I planned it myself...O is the biggest failure at gifts and/or surprises. Seriously, I am not talking down about him, it's the full blown truth. Let me refer you back to the graduation gift scenario. And then there is this past Christmas, where I got nothing.

Anyway, I don't know that there is really an answer to this whole thing, but at least I can get it off my chest a bit. Clearly it's on my mind today (after reading FB updates from Hawaii)...and so I said to O today "Oh "step-sister" went to Hawaii for her 40th, I'll be lucky if we go to McDonalds"...seriously...that is the truth.

I suspect that my 40th birthday will pass by just as the last few have...with a mediocre dinner at a mediocre restaurant as a bunch of uninterested waiters sing happy birthday to me. Oh gee...can't wait.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

currently

listening to: Billy Currington's "All Day Long" and Alejandro Sanz "Amiga Mia"

thinking: about a special friend from high school.

wishing: that is was 5pm already.

feeling: so many different things...depends on the minute.

wanting: to have less debt...much, much less debt...like my school loans would be good.

reading: "prayers for sale" by Sandra Dallas

wearing: black pants and a pesky royal blue sweater that is leaving fuzz all.over.the.place.

hoping: that I am somehow able to make a trip to Michigan for an informal HS reunion on March 26.

enjoying: replaying a recent telephone call through my head.

needing: to feel loved. real true love.

weather: 44 right now but a high of only 32 tomorrow w/snow forecasted to arrive tonight!

wondering: if we will have a snow day tomorrow.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

I Want Wednesday

I Want Wednesday: The Hometown Edition

I want: this adorable and fun winter hat!!

I want: this sweatshirt would be lovely too!!

I want: this sweatshirt...just to make sure I stay warm through the rest of this winter. :)

I want: the Red Wing Hockey Potato Head! Too Cute!!

I want: these super cozy pajama pants.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

scrapbooking maniac

It's all I really want to do...well and read...scrapbooking and reading...I would love to spend my day doing just those TWO things!! Ha...not so lucky...but here are a few I put together recently.

E *really* enjoyed this cupcake...or at least the frosting. :)

Cutest little fireman ever IMO

And just me

Saturday, January 15, 2011

random

It's Saturday...no exciting plans for the day.

I signed up for the Good Reads 2011 Reading Challenge and challenged myself to read 50 books this year!! We'll see how that goes. I'm just about to finish my 2nd book.

Ethan is definitely hitting that 3 year old NIGHTMARE stage...you know, the one where everyone told me TWO was NOTHING, wait 'til 3...we have arrived...a few weeks prior to his birthday. Oh joy!! Can we please fast forward one year? He has been SUCH a monster the past few days...good thing he's super cute.

We are doing well with potty training on #1. #2 is a WHOLE 'NOTHER STORY and I'm about at wits end. WTH do I have to do to get this kid to take a dump on the potty and NOT in his undies...It's SOOOOOO freakin' disgusting...way worse than a dirty diaper IMO. Help!

I tried out for a scrapbooking design team at my local scrapbook store...first time ever doing this...I'll find out on January 31 if I get in, but the talk on the street is that I made it!! Hooray!!

I recently took a MUCH needed 'mental health' day...while it was lovely, it went by too fast and I fear that it will just make next week that much more difficult, even though it's only a 4 day work week. Ugh.

Received the (almost) perfect job opening in my email today...the downer is the location is a bit far and it's only a temporary position from March -August...if only it were May-August...then I could do it over the Summer when school is out. Phooey!!

I'm slowly working on putting together some 'scrapbook camps' for the students at my school to take place the first couple weeks of Summer. If I haven't found a permanent job somewhere else, these should be a lot of fun to do and I'm getting excited about them.

And here's a recent layout I put together...I feel like it needs something more, but not sure what.

Disclaimer: I am WAY behind on scrapbooking, these pictures are from August 2009!!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

snow & a parenting PSA

For the first time EVER in my life (that I can remember) I have loved seeing the snow fall...why, you ask...because I don't have to go to work if we get a bit of snow...the best perk of working in a school (in the South) if you ask me.

We have had THREE snow days this week and started today on a one hour delay. Woo hoo for 2 day work weeks. Bonus that next week is only 4 days due to MLK Holiday. Of course, the downside is that all of this will make the week of Jan 24 VERY DIFFICULT if we go every.single.day. Ack!

Yesterday was a rough day for me, even though we had no school, E and I both had dentist appointments. His was a second opinion actually, after getting some devastating news from another dentist back in Nov/Dec. Sadly, the news yesterday was pretty much the same but I did like this dentist and his staff much better so we are going to stick w/them.

So while I struggle with my intense feelings of being a big failure of a mom and all that...I want to just say to all the first time parents out there - because NO ONE TOLD ME - take your child to the dentist AT AGE ONE....that is the NEW recommended age for their first dental visit. Maybe I should have known this or sought this out on my own, but it would have been nice to hear it from my pediatrician, we were only there every 3-6 months for the first two years of his life!! Additionally, do not EVER let your child go to bed with a sippy cup/bottle...we did this for a while last year and are suffering SEVERE consequences now. Lastly, if your child is anything like mine and puts up a mean fight to NOT have his teeth brushed, as hard as it may be, you need to find a way to get their teeth cleaned...even if you have to sort of maybe um, sit on him/her. This was too much for me (because I got NO help) at times and so brushing didn't get done all the time...again, we are paying the consequences now and I'm miserable about it. One more thing...if you are using that safe-to-swallow toothpaste...I recommend switching to a fluoride toothpaste as soon as your child can understand to spit it out....start teaching them. The fluoride is your friend and your child's teeth need it.

We are now on a STRICT 2x/day (or more) brushing routine and have been for a while now, but the damage is done. We also use childrens mouthwash, floss and yesterday we received a bottle of fluoride to use every night on E's teeth. So yeah, our night routine has been lengthened but I wish all of this had happened a year ago...things wouldn't have been so awful if we caught it sooner.

If all of that wasn't enough to convince you, I will share with you that we will be visiting the hospital on February 7th for E's dental work to be done...and he has to be put under anesthesia. It sucks. I'm devastated. That is all.

Sunday, January 09, 2011

the great thing about cold weather...

is I stay inside & indulge in some scrapbooking time. Here are a few things I made this weekend:

I started this one a couple weeks ago for a Crate Paper Blog contest..obviously I didn't enter it since I just finished it tonight. Not my usual style, but it'll have to do.

Christmas 2009...yep a year behind...always when it comes to scrapbooking. I think it's against the scrapbooking code of conduct to ever be "caught up"

My favorite of the weekend...based on this sketch.

I love this one, but the scan was not kind...it looks WAY better IRL.

Thanks for the visit!! Come back soon!!

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

random update

Oh how I've missed these random posts...they used to happen when I had a whole lot more time and a few tidbits here and there to share...so let's move on.

*I really want to participate in this class. Not sure if I'll have the opportunity though.

*I've already chosen my word for 2011...something I've not ever done in past years.

*This project never really 'spoke' to me or interested me...until THIS year.

*My word is "freedom"...interpret as you wish but it's pretty specific for me.

*I particularly like these two definitions of the word:

1) The state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under ~~physical~~ (mental or verbal works better for me) restraint:

2) exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc.

*What is (or would be) your word for 2011?

*Came back to work yesterday after a lovely 2 weeks off which included sleeping in 'til 9am one morning. That hadn't happened since Ethan arrived on this earth.

*Yesterday was a nice low-key day, as is today. Students return tomorrow.

*I still have this overwhelming urge to learn InDesign (or Illustrator)...but cannot find a class in the area (which isn't an on-line class, that is). I can't really afford a personal tutor, which would be ideal. I'm pretty certain that I wouldn't be too good at self-teaching from one of those Dummies books...I'm SO a visual learner. I need to "watch" and "do" to learn. It's the best way for me. I would say to learn InDesign is a 2011 goal for me, but I'm feeling rather helpless about it right now. So helpless in fact, I may just toss it aside...can't really afford to buy the program anyway. Everything always ends up being about money...that pretty much sucks.

*On a brighter note, I accomplished a BIG goal during my Christmas break...well, actually Ethan did. We began potty training on Monday, Dec 27 and he is 98% potty trained on #1 (yay!) and even at night & naps!! Bonus!! Averaging one itty bitty peepee accident per day. As for #2...I'm just not talking about it right now.

*Is it bad that I am ready for Friday already? I just want to be at home in my PJs.

Saturday, January 01, 2011

favorites of 2010

I saw a few scrapbookers around the blogsphere doing this and thought I'd jump on the bandwagon to share a few of my favorite scrapbook layouts made during 2010.