Michigan-bound...and so very excited!

Tweet

*3 days 'til mom, E and I depart for Michigan AKA home!!

*looking SO forward to seeing my bff, Laura. I cannot believe she has had 3 kiddos that I have never met. Also, she's never met E and he is her Godson. 

*we are so excited to spend a day at a kids hands-on museum with her and her kiddos. Fun!

*E will take in his very first major league baseball game @ Comerica Park.  Detroit Tigers vs. Texas Rangers.

*We will have breakfast with our old across-the-street neighbors...can't wait for that.

*On Saturday night, there is a meet up of a bunch of high school pals and I'm super duper excited about that since I missed my 20yr reunion.

*And the diet will be out the window on this trip as we indulge in some coney island hotdogs and some great middle eastern cuisine...grape leaves, hummus and baklava. Yum!!

I Want Wednesday...

Tweet

I Want: some decent workout shirts...and over the summer I have discovered the criteria that I need in a workout shirt....
(1) MUST be v-neck...those crew neck shirts make me feel like I'm choking when I'm running. I find myself constantly pulling on them.
(2) MUST be short-sleeve...I just can't handle sleeveless...my upper arms are SO gross and I'm embarrassed to expose them to anyone....despite the 30+ people at the gym who DO NOT care that THEIR upper arms are gross & flabby and wear sleeveless shirts. I'm strange I guess.
(3) MUST not be that ridiculous clingy material. I don't get it...WHY WHY WHY would I want a shirt to CLING to my fat rolls...I don't want anyone to see them which is THE reason I am at the gym in the first place.

After a visit to Dick's Sporting Goods today, with the intention of picking up 1-2 shirts...I found Under Armour Charged Cotton Vneck shirts...did I get one? NOPE!! Why?  Because they had 3 colors and in every size but the one I need. Fail.

I Want: another pair of compression shorts. These will work.

I Want: this adorable baseball night light for Ethan's room....slowly starting the process of transforming his room to a "bigger-boy" room.

I Want: this super cute baseball switch plate!!

There are a few other awesome baseball items on my wishlist for E's room...hopefully we'll get them eventually. I'm dreading tearing down the safari animal wallpaper border...ugh.

Tweet

listening to: as always, Ethan's cartoons in the background. And the clothes dryer. And Ethan playing his plastic recorder/flute thingee.

thinking: about my dad and his current (very poor) health condition.

wishing: I never had to go back to work.

feeling: worn out.

wanting: a memorable 40th bday that will at least put a little 'happy' into the dreaded day.

reading: Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins (Hunger Games Book #2)

wearing: khaki shorts and pink t-shirt.

hoping: that these last couple weeks of summer go by very, very slowly.

 

enjoying: not having to get up at 5:30am for work every day.

needing: desperately some "me time"...like way worse than ever before...especially after this nightmare week...supposedly I'll be getting said time tomorrow...but whenever *that* promise is made, something comes along to change/ruin it.

weather: effin hot...especially if we're not at the pool.

wondering:how many MORE freakin' miles I have to run for that damn scale to go down!!

no mom-of-the-year award here...

Tweet

At least that is how I've been feeling lately...

There seems to be NOTHING I can do to get Ethan to listen or cooperate.

It seems that the word "listening" is in every other sentence I say these days.

Is this just being 3 1/2 years old?

I have  a hard time believing that because to me it seems that my kid is the ONLY one acting out.

This is certainly the case w/swim lessons...he loves the pool, loves water, yet is being rebellious when it comes to his class. He won't stay in the pool w/his teacher and today he pitched a fit when I left the pool area so he could start his lesson (me leaving was our 'strategy' for getting him to cooperate)...he completed his lesson today, but not after causing a big scene.

I'm to the point where I don't want to take him ANYWHERE with me because of the fits he pitches.

At home, it's even a bit worse...when I (try to) put him in a timeout, he doesn't sit where I put him, even if it's a short time out. My child can be such a little booger and I don't know what to do. 

I've taken away toys for bad behavior, but not sure what else I can do.


Thoughts running through my head: do I need to get the Strong Willed Child book??  are these ADD/ADHD behaviors I'm seeing (I know it's early for diagnosis)??

What have I done wrong?

a little bitter...or pissed off.

Tweet

I'm turning 40 in a few weeks.

I'm not happy about it...primarily because I am unsatisfied with "where" I am in life right now.

I feel terribly UNsuccessful...and it makes me miserable.

I also would have liked something "big" or "special" for this birthday...it *is* sorta milestone-ish...

Things I mentioned wanting:

 *Mac Desktop (fat chance!)

 *2 night stay at Hotel Margaritaville in Pensacola

 *Screened in patio (O actually said he was aiming for this one...but NOTHING has been done towards it)

What will actually take place on 8.23.11:

 *Work from 7:30-3:45pm

 *4pm home and then nothing...or maybe dinner out somewhere...you know, the same stupid boring thing we do every year.  I'm NOT happy about it. I'd rather just stay home. Heck...O will likely be out of town anyway.

What really irks me most is that he has made NO effort to even try to reach ANY of these things or to even make the day REMOTELY special or unique for me. He never does. Stupid of me to think he would have this year, right? He likes to say we can't afford it...like the Margaritaville trip...but he did just fork over the same amount of cash to fly his 15yo daughter here for a week. I get that he wants to see her, but these are both things he's known about for a LONG time and yet does no planning for.

As for surprises...yeah, that's so NOT gonna happen...like the time when he bought me a softball bat for my birthday and then left the receipt IN my car...where I of course stumbled upon it PRIOR to my birthday. Yeah..thanks...nice try. It will be a true miracle if I even get a card...which honestly, I couldn't care less about at this point.

Don't get me wrong...I don't typically ask for much, really..it's very day-in, day-out around here, so I thought just once maybe we could do something fun and out of the ordinary. Apparently not.

It's really the lack of effort that is most upsetting...makes me feel unimportant and that I'm not worth it.

Wasted away again...

Tweet

the goings on...

Tweet

Here's what's happened since the last time I wrote:

*dad was admitted to the hospital. will be there at least 2 weeks. it's rather serious. :(

*E & I have spent 2 afternoons at the Y pool...which has been wonderful since it's only 2ft deep, he can play & I can read.

*i lost another 1.4lbs this week...somehow!

*started a new book "The Story of Beautiful Girl" by Rachel Simon, which I need to have done by 2:30pm Friday for my work book club...yikes...I still have 100+ pages to go.

*solidified some plans for when we are in Michigan.

*exciting 40th bday plans continue to be NON-existent...which well, pisses me off. the day will simply come and go as any other. FML.

*on the bright side, we are likely going to Charleston/Folly Beach for Labor Day...but that doesn't make up for no bday plans.

1/2 way mark & random thoughts

Tweet

Summer is half over...my summer BREAK that is. Major bummer indeed!

I suppose that explains the sense of dread hanging over me for the past few days.

Sure I went on vacation, to the beach, but it was far from a vacation for me. Not to sound ungrateful, but it was far from "a great time"...it was a lot of work, more than if I'd stayed home. 90% of the time, it was JUST me and E...no help for me at all. I kept wishing I was one of those rich people who takes babysitters on vacation. To date, I have not gotten a break for myself. Apparently the going rate for sitters these days is $10/hour (for ONE kid) !! WTH? I was paid $3/hour (for 3 kids!!)...that seems to be a career on the upswing.

I'm super excited about making a trip up to Michigan w/mom and E and taking E to his first Detroit Tiger game, but then I can't help but think that when we get back, I'll only have 2 more days of summer left. :(

My dad is still not doing well (at all). I wonder if it's the pessimist (realist) in me that seems to think this may be "it"..but my oldest step sister seems to think her "elder care" experience will magically cure him. She is staying with him for the next few weeks, so we'll see.

My summer "makeover" program is going way TOO slow for my liking. I've lost only 4lbs and my goal was 15. Yeah, like that will happen now. no. I've ran 61 miles since 5.27.11 which was my "official" start date. For me, I think that's a good number, it's way more than I would have ran w/o signing up at the Y...yet still with all that running, plus biking, elliptical and weights, there is hardly a change. The bright side...I think 'things' are moving around though as I was able to fit into a skirt that I hadn't been able to wear for past few years.

we are home

Tweet

mid-vacation post

Tweet

*this will be a bullet point update, they are my favorite.

*E and I are still on vacation, errr let me re-phrase that...E is still on vacation.

*this has been FAR from vacation for me

*A couple nights ago, E had probably what I would consider his most ginormous meltdown ever. in a public restaurant. me=mortified.

*I've had one 1 hour break from E all week & that was when I went on a 4 mile run in Edisto

*my dad is in quite poor health & i'm not sure why/how he even drove down for a few days.

*he never left the condo while here and ended up going home 1 day early.

*E & I are currently in O's hotel room, 45 minutes from the beach.

*Yesterday we drove to Charleston, SC to enjoy some "city-living"...you know, Barnes & Noble and ChickFila. 

*We plan to check out Folly Beach today...looking forward to that. :)

*Tomorrow we head to Savannah, GA and I cannot wait!!

*Wish me luck that we get into The Lady & Sons Restaurant to eat - lunch or dinner, I don't care!!

*Is it bad that I'm planning to use some of my vaca money to get a babysitter when we get home...and a day for myself. Oh yeah...can't wait for that! I love E and besides his meltdown the other day, he's been fairly well behaved...I would just like to relax a bit.