~i have a suspicious scenario to present...please let me know your thoughts.
~i suspect that one of my family members has a terminal condition but has chosen not to disclose it...that is fine, however...i'm suspicious because...
~contact with this person has INcreased over the past few months
~this person also calls more often than they used to.
~this person has made significant changes to their diet but continues to practice unhealthy habits as well.
~this person has also made changes to their overall living situation in an effort to decrease monthly costs (or paranoid-me thinks maybe to have MORE money to leave behind).
~so i hope that i'm over-thinking it here, but this person is getting up in age, so I guess it's a possibility but I just wouldn't have thought it was their personality to keep something like that a secret.
~i hope i'm totally wrong here, but this continues to cross my mind!!
13 comments:
Interesting. I would certainly have the same suspicions as you do.
On the one hand, I would be thinking "if it looks like a duck & quacks like a duck..." but on the other hand, I think that as people advance in years, we tend to jump to that scenario first. Could it be that this person was warned that changes needed to be made...or else?
See, that's where I'm confused because i'm told that doctor reports are all positive & nothing is wrong, but this person has cut caffeine & sweets from their diet as well as controlling the carbs quite well. BUT...they continue to smoke and drink (ALOT).
As for the location changes, purely driven by the economy downturn and HOA fees with previous location.
I think that seems suspicious too. Are you just going to continue to silently observe or pose the question to the person? I am sure that person probably has a personal reason if they're not telling everyone about their whole situation, but I'm one of those people who would want to know what's going on for real, regardless of how hard the truth may be to handle.
I think I will continue to observe for a while and sort of play it by ear...but this person is a CLOSE family member so if the tables were turned, they would surely know what was going on with me....but I know that's me and my choice. *sigh*
Thinking leads to overthinking. I overthink everything. So I can easily see how you might think of that. I hope it's not true!
I wish I could help on this one, but I think it could either way. On one hand maybe this person is terminal and trying to get their affairs in order of sorts. But on the other hand, maybe they just realized that they are getting up there and they want to spend time and connect with the people they love while they still have time.
hmmm... I'm not sure I would come to the same conclusions, but then again we have separate brains :)
The increased contact could be that they want to be more in touch. Maybe since they are getting older, they are realizing more how precious life is.. and now that you have E in your life as well... He is another reason for a family member to get closer.
Re: the move, that could be totally economical.
And the life style changes, people make them all the time - whether they be self induced or doctor suggested.... but drinking and smoking... those just might be vices that person is not willing to part with.
I hope you find out your answer
I'm only approaching 45 but I know I've come to the conclusion that it's now or never. I know I need to change some things in my life. I've started. I haven't done it all yet. Perhaps that's where your family member is. Maybe they can only deal with so much at once. It's really hard, and really not advisable, to change everything at once. It's the old "how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time". So why not commend them for the changes they have made and let them know that you've noticed the positive changes. It might encourage them to open up. And if not, you always have the option of asking. I see you've changing your career. I think we all get to the point where it's time to do something with our lifes. I hope they're OK. Try to stay positive and just let them know you love them and are there for them in any way they need you to be.
It's possible, but it could also be some other unrelated life changing event... like... maybe they are just realizing they need to be more active in your life.
suspicious, yeah. but i would try to not assume the worst! hopefully they are just trying to make small steps to improve themself? maybe cleaning up their food is an easier task than attacking the smoking. were they overweight? maybe they got a pre-diabetic speech? i dunno... hoping all is OK though!
If I were in your shoes, I'd just ask. I can't imagine anyone in my family being secretive about a terminal condition. My family is the family that discusses way too many things. TMI is often the thought in my mind.
Running still going well? I'm plugging along. I'm ready to start pushing myself to run longer on the weekends (when I have more time). I've mapped out a plan for the next 24 weeks for running - plus I am working out some with weights. Want me to send you what I'm trying to work on? I'm still as slow as Christmas when I run. My goal for the half is just to finish it under 3 hours. I think that is reasonable. :) Can't wait to meet you!
WOW, I truly don't know what to make of the situation you have described. I certainly hope it is not what you are thinking. Having said that, I have a weird family who keeps big secrets ALL the time so in the same situation I may think like you're thinking.I know myself well enough to know it would be very hard for me to accept not knowing, I would be sleuthing around trying to find out the real story. Not that I recommend that because it doesn't or hasn't always turned out well. Well sorry I know I was no help here. Just thinking of you and hoping it is not a bad scenario after all.
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