Friday, August 26, 2011

unsettled

I guess that's how I feel so far this school year.

I feel more stressed out this year than last - odd, considering that last year was my 1st year as a school counselor AND I still had class one night each week and was freaking out over my comprehensive exam.


I find that most (all) of my work-related stress is coming from planning and presenting my guidance lessons for the middle school students. 


I dread it.


Seriously. Totally. Dread it.


To the point that I don't know if I can do this again next year.


Which then puts more pressure on me considering that I carry the health benefits (which are fantastic) AND that E is in the wonderful preschool here, which is unbelievably better than where he was last year (and makes me feel like he was in a "dump" last year...which he wasn't, but there's just THAT much difference between them.)


And all that leaves me thinking that I will never ever ever find a career that is suitable for me. *sigh* Or that I'll just follow in my mom's footsteps working a career for 30 years just to pay bills and being completely miserable...oh yay...that's what it's looking like so far.

2 comments:

Sarah said...

I kind of feel that way too. My 'career' found me more or less and I have done well working my way up and for the most part I enjoy it, but it feels weird in some ways because I didn't really choose it originally, it just started and has evolved. I don't have a college degree and looking back I always wonder what I would have chosen if I would have gone to college right out of high school. Of course now I feel like I would have gone after something super high paying, but I wouldn't have thought of it then and didn't.

I am lucky though as there is still opportunities for me to grow and make more (in the middle of one right now - a possible promotion since my boss quit). I just don't know if this really is what I wantt to do for 30+ more years.

Hope it gets easier for you and that there is less stress soon!

em said...

I so feel your pain. This is my ninth year of teaching and my love/excitement/desire is just GONE. We have the same insurance issue...though no cool preschool!! I have no words of wisdom, but I can truly empathize with you.