Tuesday, February 26, 2008

~a couple pics~




~Before Ethan arrived, everyone told me "you have to sleep when the baby sleeps"...well, let me just say that it's very difficult to sleep when Ethan sleeps...taking 90 minute cat naps throughout the day is not easy for me.

~As a result, I'm operating on about 4.5 hours of (interrupted) sleep.

~I emailed the Recruiter @ the hospital to express my interest in the jobs I've applied for...she wrote back saying my resume was forwarded to the hiring managers and they'll contact me directly for an interview if they are interested....that's not very helpful nor does it instill much hope. I'm keeping my fingers crossed though - the 7pm-7am job would be absolutely ideal. I only wish I knew the name of the manager and I could email him/her. I would think that shift would be hard to fill and so I'm really hoping they call....

~Can someone please do the "get a new job" dance?

Saturday, February 23, 2008

~sleep deprivation~

~I am voluntarily depriving myself of even more sleep than I'm already missing out on. Ethan is in bed and I should be too...but I wanted to squeeze in a little computer time. I am determined NOT to fall behind on my Project 365 picture a day deal. I'm up to date right now...

~Not leaving the house very often makes it challenging to get good pics for Project 365.

~Today I trekked to Target...all by myself. I felt rushed but it worked out ok - Ethan slept the whole time I was gone. Phew!

~I have a list of daycares to call on Monday.

~On Monday, I will go by one of the daycare places that I called on Friday and get on the waitlist...they have pre-school there, so at least by the time he's ready for that, we will be able to get in. LOL!!

~I didn't win the lottery last night - it was 400k - *sigh*

~I have the best OB doc in the world. She is wonderful! When I was freaking out about the C-Section (for many reasons) she was unbelievably understanding and compassionate. I took her a gift and card yesterday and she said she was about to cry. She is also going to keep an eye/ear out for me on jobs @ the hospital.

~Speaking of jobs @ the hospital: I am desperately trying to get a non-clinical job there. They have wonderful benefits and even if the pay isn't great...I need the bennies and they are SO close to my home. I have applied for a few jobs there so I'm hoping and praying for an interview. I'm hoping to get a night-shift job...7pm-7am...then I wouldn't need daycare at all. That would be IDEAL!!!!

~OK - I better get to bed now.

Friday, February 22, 2008

~call me a bonehead~

~I had NO idea that there are 1 year waiting lists at most daycares!!! That means you have to get on waiting lists before you even get pregnant!! WTF?

Husband: "Hey honey, let's make a baby"
Wife: "Oh wait, let me call some daycares and get put on the waiting lists first"

~I had my 2 wk check up today and asked for some daycare referrals, which is where I discovered this lovely piece of news. Of the 2 places I called, one has a waitlist 'til June '09 (yes, 2009) and the other is actually August of THIS year. Add to that the fact that they cost $850+ per month.

~Part of me recognizes that I procrastinated on looking into daycare because I really, really, really don't want to have to utilize it...I've been in denial...I guess this is what I get in return. *sigh*

~I want to cry.

~I want to stay home w/Ethan more now than ever!!

~I bought a ticket for the local lottery tonight..it's 400k...I don't need millions - 400k will hold me over nicely...*crossing fingers* BIG TIME!!!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

~a little lonely~

OK - so even though I am very busy these days with lots to do and rarely a moment to spare...heck, I hardly even have time to go to the bathroom...being at home all day w/a newborn can be kind of lonely.

~There's no one to talk to.
~I don't have a laptop so no websurfing from bed.
~I call my mom daily or she calls me...but that's only 10 minutes out of the day.
~Sometimes I can't sleep during the day with Ethan is napping.

Oh well...just thought I'd mention that...I still love being Ethan's mom though...but it would be nice to have some company or a text msg or a phone call now and then.

~Back to the bedroom now...

Friday, February 15, 2008

~baby blues~

~I think I have the Baby Blues. Thankfully, I only have the crying symptom and none of the others...I'm definitely BONDED with Ethan...I never want to be apart from him...even when he's sleeping, I'd rather be in the same room w/him than anywhere else.

~I do fine all day and when O comes home he tells me how I'm doing such a wonderful job and what a great mom I am...(I guess he had low expectations for me as a mom)...anyway, the minute he starts saying these things, the tears start to pour down. I can't help it. *Actually he says he didn't have low expectations, but he says I haven't complained at all (I haven't)...so I guess that has impressed him.

~I also find myself crying when I step out of my denial and realize that I will likely have to go back to work at some point. I'm thinking of postponing my return until March 19-20. In the breastfeeding class, they suggesting returning to work mid-week vs. on a Monday so that you are only away from the baby a couple days and then have the weekend to spend together again. It makes for an easier adjustment.

~OK, well, I can no longer feel the fingertips on my right hand, so I will go now...have a good weekend.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

~playing games~

Ethan is playing games w/me already...

I change his wet diaper, sit down to feed him, he poops...I mean within 1-2 minutes of starting his feeding. In fact, today I didn't even make it out of his room to take the wet diaper to the garbage can...he pooped.

Apparently, this boy will not poop in a wet diaper. He waits for a dry diaper and then poops!

I changed his diaper 3 times within 30 minutes today...poop, poop, poop.

With the cost of diapers where it is...if he keeps up like this...I'll be broke in no time. :-)

OK and I gave in...here's a pic of me and Ethan - taken on 2/13...I look gross, but look @ Ethan's smile...oh my goodness, I just love it!!!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

~a baby changes EVERYTHING~

~A baby changes everything - that's FOR SURE!

~Before Ethan arrived, I already didn't want to go back to work in only 4-6 wks...well, now I don't want to go back at all.

~I'm not the 'stay at home' mom type, but I could do it on a temporary basis or work only (very) part time for a couple years. Right now that just doesn't seem to be an option for me and that stinks. It's just 'wrong' that someone else will raise my child while I spend the majority of my day in an office...just not what I had in mind and I'm trying really hard not to worry about that right now and enjoy the time off I have...but it's hard.

~Another change that I've noticed is in my diet. I have not had a soda ('pop' for you northerners like me) since prior to Ethan's birth and I have no desire for one. If you know me well, you know that my beverage of choice is a diet sunkist or a diet dr pepper so this is really strange for me. In addition, I have not consumed a drop of caffeine since he arrived either. I was not so good on managing caffeine consumption during my pregnancy. I have this crazy desire to eat TONS of fresh fruit and yogurt and other 'healthy' items...which is good. Hopefully as another perk to my new habits, I'll see most of the weight drop off quickly.

~Speaking of weight...I haven't taken many pics of Ethan and I together (but I NEED to) because I am soooo fat and bloated. My face looks so gross to me right now...they say the swelling normally takes about 8 days after delivery to go down. Oh I sure hope so...I have NO shoes that fit right now except for Nike Slides -which are a SUMMER poolside shoe...not so good when it's 29 degrees outside. Needless to say, I have not left the house with the exception of for the pediatrician appointment we went to yesterday. Flip flops don't fit either.

~Anyway, back to pics - the ones that I are of Ethan and I will not be posted because they are that bad. :-) I need to work on taking pics of him tomorrow for his announcements. Of all the pictures I have currently, none are suitable for his announcement and his eyes are closed in a lot of them.

Monday, February 11, 2008

~baby stats~

I neglected to provide Ethan's details and per Dawn's request, here they are:

Arrived @ 1:30pm
Weight: 7 lbs 10 oz
Length: 20 inches

A friend who came to visit us in the hospital said he was the most alert baby she'd seen...I haven't been around many newborns so it's hard for me to 'gage' - but he's definitely alert when I'm with him...he knows that I'm his food source. :-)

Here's another pic for you...I love this shirt and am bummed you can't see the whole thing... it says "HI, I'M NEW HERE"....too funny! And, yes, Ethan had REALLY dry skin when he was born....apparently quite common in babies who go past their due date. We are having regular "lotion parties" now...which he's not all that fond of, but his skin is improving.

~a couple things~

~I had the choice to stay in the hospital thru to Monday or come home Sunday night...

~Since you see I'm posting a blog at 12:05am on Monday, I obviously came home on Sunday and am completely kicking myself...I should have stayed the extra night.

~Physically, I'm sure there is no significant difference in how I would feel had I stayed the extra day, but I am having a hard time sleeping comfortably tonight. I can only sleep on my back right now and w/o that fancy hospital bed that reclines etc...I cannot get out of bed on my own so O has to help me up - I basically have NO abdominal muscles at this time. It also just would have been nice to have the extra night's rest.

~At the hospital, they also take the baby to the nursery for a couple hours so moms can get some quality sleep...so far tonight, I have gotten maybe 1 hour of quality sleep. I know it's an adjustment and I'll get there. It's a HUGE challenge.

~I chose to come home because it would get me up and active sooner and the key to less swelling is getting up and about. I did not know that I would end up MORE swollen after all this than I was going in, but they pumped me full of fluids. The shoes I wore to the hospital on Friday (which are SLIP ONS), I could not put on to leave the hospital. I had to wear my slippers home!

~I also had many wonderful nurses, but one especially went the EXTRA mile for me - many miles actually. I wish I could have brought her home with me. She gave me a huge hug when we left. So sweet.

~The food was really good too...this hospital actually has a reputation for really good food and it is VERY true. I even had Red Velvet Cake for dessert one day. Yum!

~Advice to you when it's your turn - STAY AS LONG AS YOU CAN @ THE HOSPITAL.

~A little recap on why I ended up with an Emergency C-Section...my doc broke my water at 8:20am and started the Pitocin. I was already just shy of 2 cm dialated at that time. Four hours later, I was still only @ 2 cm and then they discovered that Ethan had a BM in the womb...which means he was under stress. From there, his heart beat was irregular - up and down - while I had contractions and within 30 minutes from the doctor announcing we were doing a C-Section, Ethan was born. It was lightning speed fast, it freaked me out, the medical staff was all wonderful but I was still drowning in tears. A C-Section was the ONE thing I really didn't want and after such an uneventful, smooth pregnancy - who would have thought this would be the outcome?!

~In the end though, all that matters is that I have a HEALTHY baby...and I do.

~Well, he's calling me....it's time for him to eat.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

~introducing ethan!

*one of his 1st pics, about 1 hr old*i think he's doing his gene simmons impersonation*

*snoozing under the warming lamp*probably 2 hrs old here*
*hi there*

Thursday, February 07, 2008

~well, here we go...~

~Today was my last day of work.

~Thank goodness for that because the new gal was wearing on my last freakin' nerve!! I swear she probably did her own baby dances every night wishing & hoping I would go into labor just so she could work full days.

~If I had $1 for every comment she made to me about having the baby right away or if I had any signs of the baby coming, I certainly wouldn't have to go back to work so soon.

~Early in the week I had a fleeting thought that maybe I'd leave early today, but then I figured if I'm going to get up early to get in there, I might as well just deal with being there the whole day. Well, of course, the first thing out of her mouth this morning was if I was planning to stay all day or not and her volunteering to stay for me....what a shocker!! NOT!!

~I received a sign today that labor may not be that far away...it was not my water breaking, but another lovely substance that 'oozes' out of the body prior to labor. I'll let you look that one up and spare you the details.

~Anyway, I have to be at the hospital at 5:45am Friday morning.

~I will send Twitter updates as much as the pain allows me to.

~I'll post pics when I get a moment to myself, which will likely be years from now.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

~careful driving~

We've had a significant amount of rain in the past couple days.

~Let me repeat...it's been RAIN, not SNOW, not SLEET, not ICE...just rain.

~Both O and my mom have called me to warn me that the roads were wet.

~Gee...I must be a rocket scientist because I was already aware of the fact that when it rains, the roads get wet.

~They then proceeded to tell me to be very careful driving.

~That could be interpreted as a thoughtful & caring thing to do.

~You know that I don't interpret it that way...why you ask?

~Neither of them have EVER CALLED ME BEFORE to warn me of road conditions when I was not pregnant.

~Clearly, my life is significantly less valuable w/o a baby inside...

~THANKS! Makes me feel *SO* loved...sarcasm intended.

~And before you all go defending them...I know they mean well and all, but when you really think about it - the fact that they've never bothered to call me with this concern before being pregnant really makes me feel of little worth. Sometimes it what a person DOESN'T say that speaks volumes. Also, my driving skills have not changed since being PG...so what's the point really?

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

~simple pleasures~

~I have another OB appt tomorrow morning...you know your life is pathetic when you are excited about a doc appt because it means you can sleep in a little bit longer in the morning...

~Of course, since I don't sleep well these days, I'll still likely be wide awake come 6am!


~All those pains and movement last night meant nothing...

~It's 6:30am and I'm up getting ready for ANOTHER day of work...

~All I'd like to do is stay in bed & sleep, but since that won't even be an option after Ethan arrives, there's no sense in staying home...off I go to make a dollar!

Monday, February 04, 2008


~Well, I made it thru yet another workday...uncomfortable but I made it.

~Yesterday was uneventful.

~For the past hour or so, Ethan has been very active and I have some 'pelvic floor' (as they refer to it) pain (again) ...could this mean something?? Maybe I'll be on my way to the hospital come 2am. Could Ethan really come exactly ON TIME?

~Yeah, probably not. But I'll keep ya' posted nonetheless.

Saturday, February 02, 2008

~a list~

OK - this girl at Hula Seventy made a list of 36 things that happened to her in 2007. Ali referenced this today in her Weekend Creative prompt...I'm not participating in Ali's deal but I thought the list was nice and thought I'd work on one...

1. got a 2nd job @ Starbuck's

2. got married

3. got pregnant

4. had knee surgery

5. bought a house

6. lost 2 "friends"..well, I thought they were friends

7. saw my Detroit Tigers play LIVE (not on TV)

8. treated myself to a few massages

9. had significant family rift...for 1st time ever

10. lost a job

11. went on 7 interviews

12. got a new job

13. went on a mini-vacation w/my dad

14. did a lot of pet-sitting

15. walked the Komen 5k

16. spent Thanksgiving w/my step-sister family in VA & about 30 other people!!

17. co-led a fundraiser for 22 yr old SBUX co-worker going through chemo -raised $2k

18. had the stomach flu for 1st time ever...awful!

19. had a great visit from a great friend from NJ

20. took 2 Masters classes for Counseling program

21. let the entire Spring/Summer pass by w/o playing a single softball game

22. read 7 books (that's not very many)

23. took a road-trip to NC to scrapbook w/Mary

Well, I could only come up with 23....for now.


~Still no signs of baby coming anytime soon...doesn't he know that I am a very punctual (if not, early) person and so he should be the same way! Argh! :-)

~Headed to the mall today w/mom...I'm SO hoping that the walking puts me in labor, but I sort of think maybe that's an 'old wives tale'...we'll see.

~I'm working next week, Mon - Thurs, truly up to the 'last minute'...most people are surprised by that...surely I cannot be the only person ever to have done that?!?!

~The gal I'm training @ work to cover for me is pretty anxious for me to go into labor...she's made it quite obvious. They are only letting her work 1/2 days 'til I'm gone and she was hoping that by this coming Monday she'd be on full days...when they said she needed to stay on 1/2 days 'til I'm gone, she was less than happy and honestly, it made me pretty uncomfortable. It's not my fault she doesn't have a FT job elsewhere and she knew coming in about the situation & the need for flexibility. Whatever!! Like I really need to deal with this drama...gimme a freakin' break.