Thursday, May 31, 2018

Dating in my 40s

While I'm looking forward to eventually meeting someone, there have been MANY days when I'm completely disappointed, disgusted or just plain hopeless that it will ever happen...and I get that it's not been that long but the things I have experienced already are just ridiculous.

*the guy who flirts & pursues me but turns out to be living with someone, someone he said he was working on 9 months later, guess what....he's still living there!!!

*the bazillion boneheads on Bumble who (1) don't respond AFTER they have "swiped right" thereby expressing interest and/or all the others who can't bother to put up a decent picture or even write a couple lines about themself, you know, a profile. *sigh*

*then there's the guy who CLEARLY makes eye contact w/me at a recent sporting event, multiple times, let me add...then tells a mutual friend he is only "casually dating"....yet I discover he has been dating someone for 1 year. Seriously, DO NOT EVEN LOOK AT ME IF YOU ARE NOT 100% AVAILABLE.

*lastly there is the guy that I went to dinner with last week but there was no "spark" for me....apparently for him there was a shit ton of fireworks *of course* and so I finally told him I didn't want to pursue anything with him and he then suggested being friends w/benefits....OMG...this is what is out there?!?! Dare I mention that I am 98% sure I saw his truck in my neighborhood early this morning while I was out running? Oh crap!

*Guys are jerks and right now I hate them all. 

Monday, April 30, 2018

Update - And longest blog post ever!

Consider yourself warned as this post is selfishly for me to get things off my chest...I've talked to friends, family & even a counselor and am now at a point where none of that seems to help me feel better and so "getting it down on paper" is my next option. I don't want to wear out my friends any more than I already have.

This will be long. Read if you want. Don't read if you don't want to.  I'm good either way.

So I guess to start, my lack of blogging is due to the fact that I've had significant life changes beginning last Fall and (sorta) "ending" last month - though not completely ending. Here's an easy timeline that lays everything out and if I ever want to reference it, at least it will be here for me.

Sep 2017 - discovered MANY pieces of proof of O cheating.

Nov 2017 - told O I wanted to divorce and reasons why (above & then some). We later decide to get through holidays first and talk about filing in Jan 2018.

Later Nov 2017 - O says he's going to job site in KY on Sunday nights to get ready for week, but turns out he's shacking up at his 27yo girlfriend's apartment. Not only did he lie to me about this, but also to our 10yo son. 

Dec 17, 2017 - I obtained pictures of his truck outside her apt and filed for divorce on Dec 20. Felt happy & relieved as I knew I could move forward with filing with NO guilt.

Dec 2017 - he continues to stay with gf, but now also through the week while E and I remain in the house. I'm glad he was not around, but also disgusted & disappointed with the pathetic example he set and continues to set for E. He is so ridiculously selfish.

Late Jan 2018 - sold the house.

Feb 2018 - longest month in the history of ever. Counting down the 90 day waiting period for my divorce to be final. Miserable most of this month awaiting "closure". Through all of this, I am thankful that I was no longer "in love" with him and therefore had NO heartache over all this...a lot of anger...but no heartache.

March 2, 2018 - E and I moved in with a friend/former neighbor. 

March 2, 2018 - "discovered" a house for sale by owner on same street of our 1st house and 5 houses down from friend/former neighbor...priced a bit high, but I decide to pursue it.

March 4, 2018 - look at the house down the street, LOVED it & put in an offer. After some back/forth and another $5k, they accept my offer. Market is horrible here for small houses, in that they go quickly & there is a lot of competition for them, so I'm relieved to have found something in a good area and where E is familiar and will not have to change schools. Now commence the stress of making a house payment larger than what I had hoped for. Ugh!

March 8, 2018 - O ended up buying a condo in a town 30 minutes away.  His g/f moves in with him which is COMPLETELY against the Parenting Plan.  I actually didn't discover this until March 18 (see below).

March  9, 2018 - closed on house.  Oddly this caused me many tears, though I was not at all attached to the house. We lived there only 10 months....which was infuriating (and embarrassing at the closing IMO) - having to move again.

March 18, 2018 - Ethan spends the day with O since he missed the weekend prior due to us being in FL. Ethan returns home at the end of the day to tell me that O's g/f "coincidentally" showed up at the go kart track they went a town where there are 30+ go kart tracks. Furious doesn't begin to explain my feelings. I can't even say anything to O about it because he's such an asshole that he tells E that he is a "snitch"...what a great dad, huh? I don't do well holding on to anger and it was nearly killing me not being able to unleash some really foul language on O. I even told O prior to the divorce being final that I would NOT tolerate this & would report him for contempt of court and in true O-fashion, he ignores it as he thinks he is above the law and does as he pleases. 

March 19, 2018 - contacted my lawyer about O breaking the parenting plan. The plan states that NO romantic partners are to be introduced to E until 6 months after divorce is final & no overnight guests of the opposite sex either. That 6 month date is September 21, 2018. O even told E that the g/f would be staying with him and will be there on weekends when E is with him. My blood was boiling. Lawyer never returns my call.

March 20, 2018 - divorce is final. I could not be happier. Glad to be FREE. Never realized how much O "kept me from". Looking forward to a happier future.

Late March 2018 - drama about O and the g/f continue & I contact lawyer again. Finally have a date/time for discussion about filing Contempt of Court against him. Turns out it's a complete waste of time & energy to even have that 6 month clause in the parenting plan because it would cost me $$$ to take him to court and then by the time we'd get into court, the 6 month window will have passed and it's a moot point. There are also potential repercussions to think about, financial & emotional (for E). Additionally, the damage is already done. E has met her etc. They are doing the whole "disney dad" thing, buying everything that Ethan asks for and taking him to places like Main Event, Jump Jam, Go Karts etc. We did these things while married, but not every weekend. Can you say "manipulation"? Turns out the divorce drama is SO MUCH MORE AFTER the divorce is final vs. as when it was going on. What's the point then in even having this in divorce paperwork?!? It's pretty standard...but pointless. 

April 2018 - this is the month of drama....NONE caused by me, I swear. O decides he wants to hold onto my step sister and her family for his own. Honestly, I'm not that close with them, but I also have boundaries and feel he is way out of line. I am not seeking to stay in touch with ANY of his family. In fact, I even honored his wishes of NOT telling his mother  for months that we were divorcing because he didn't want to upset her until the last minute I guess. He has gone so far as to Facebook with these family members and say unkind things about me. THEN it turns out that my (evil?) step sister replies and says how she never felt like I thought they were my equals, as in, I thought less of them etc. She also told him they do not believe that he cheated and the things that I told her he did. Wow - seriously! To add to this, just over a year ago, my dad moved up to VA and lives next door to her. Now, while he is my stepdad, he did raise me, but I'm pretty close to cutting him off at this point because he says he is going to be neutral (for now). Well, I won't be going up there to see him EVER so what's the point in being neutral. O wants to take E up there to visit them, because he has always liked it up there, but still, just so wrong. And honestly, why does he have to say crappy things about me, I wouldn't be as angry w/him if he left that part out. Good was an "agreed divorce" - why all the hate now? He is so two-faced it's not even funny. So I have cut all of them off of my Facebook except for my dad, but when I post, I often block him from the post(s) I'm sure it's just a matter of time. *eyeroll*

Another Chapter
As if there needed to be more...over the past few months, I met & have been  communicating with a person we will call "S" - (because that's what his name starts with)...he began to pursue me a few months ago with some friendly texting & hopeful words about an eventual future together and it completely caught me off guard. Not something that has typically happened to me in my life. Unfortunately, he is in a similar situation to mine for the most part, but now that we are nearly in May, my situation is complete and he's still "stuck" in his (he's not married). To be completely honest, this situation/relationship (?) has been more heartache-inducing for me than the whole stupid divorce...speaks volumes huh?  I'm finding that I'm pretty "head over heels" for him...crazy I know...but it's how I feel. I don't remember ever feeling so "into" someone like this or "excited" to see or talk to someone as I do with him. I really wish I didn't feel this way because then the heartache would also be less. It's been a roller coaster of emotions and on/off communication with him for months now.  It's not a re-bound. There have been times when I maybe should have just said "forget this" and "walked away" but I simply can't...nor do I want to. Deep down I feel like we would be awesome together, if we can just get there. There have also been numerous obstacles along the way and so I hold on to that whole belief that anything worth having is worth the work.  We made some good "progress" recently with some communication but he prefers/finds it easier (?) to have limited communication until his situation is cleared up and while I KNOW that is for the best, at the end of the day it's just hard. 

In our most recent conversation, he mentioned that it is his fault for pursuing me when he cannot give himself to me 100%, recognizing that I deserve better and that he was raised to be a gentleman and in trying to be one, we have little to no communication recently with the hopes that he gets his s*** together soon. The obstacles are legit but frustrating at the same time. In order to not feel miserable, I tend to focus on all the sweet things he has said as well as some of the very personal things he has shared with me that I believe would not be shared with "just anyone" when I recall these memories, I feel good about us, but when I verbally share them with someone (which I've stopped doing), they tend to not sound as good and as if I'm just hanging around WAITING for him. I basically am, by my choice. He did say to me "I want to tell you to wait, but it's not fair" the fact that he acknowledged it is something. I really have ZERO interest in "trying to find" anyone else right now-it's such a pain/hassle (keep reading)...again, maybe that's stupid on my part, but this is where I am. In fact, just typing this out brings tears to my eyes...I am sad, hurt, lonely and often feel unworthy of him or anyone. Sometimes even thinking "does he *really* want to be with me?" I was encouraged by a friend to get on Bumble a while back, so I did and what a joke that was...I definitely don't need any help LOWERING my self-confidence and that's exactly what that did....seriously no one swipes right (likes) on me & then the few that do are old and gross or live 1 hour or more away and though they swiped right, they then say it's too far away. Seriously! Over it. I even had one loser unmatch me after I said that I have my 10yo son MOST of the time....thankful to not have that jerk in my life. I tried to get back on there today & just felt disgusted with the whole thing, the process, the energy, it's simply NOT what I want to do.

In the end, I think I get really "hung up" on injustice (that's always been hard for me) in that O has broken ALL the rules along the way and yet has ended up with everything he wants EASILY...while I have done "what I am supposed to do" and end up with nothing and feeling very sad & empty on a regular basis. I hate to even admit that I feel lonely, but I think I do. I was looking forward to my weekends alone when E is with his dad, but this next one coming up has me worried. I will be running a 5k so thank goodness that will take up some time and my Handy Man is coming over for a few hours to help get my house in order, but after that...I'm worried.  And at the end of the day, I can fill my hours/days/weeks with things to do, but I still think about S and wanting to be with him. It's just so hard & I hate feeling this way. 

Monday, October 23, 2017

Catching up...


I've been a bit MIA lately...for a variety of reasons and while I have caught myself with a bit of "down time" - i thought it was a great opportunity to blog.

Ethan, my mom and I did enjoy a fall break trip, though the destination changed and we shortened it by one day. Because of the storm that was coming into Panama City Beach, we ended up going to Savannah, GA. We had only a little bit of rain there and it didn't hinder our plans, so all was good. We toured the city "up and down" it seems. We love the trolley tour they offer throughout the day and learned A LOT about the city. Ethan requested a Ghost Tour so we did that one evening and while fun, it was less than "stellar" as we didn't see ANYTHING orbs, nothing. Bummer!

We did head out to Tybee Island one day to check it out and since the forecast wasn't so great for the beach, we didn't bother with our beach wear. Of course, as my luck would have it, it was beautiful so we camped out there for about an hour when at which point we could no longer tolerate the stifling humidity and heat. The (not-so) highlight of the trip was the $35 parking ticket I got while we were there. OK - in my defense, there was NO meter within short sight of where we parked...apparently they use those electronic meters that are set up every 10 car lengths or so. You pay, get your receipt and put it on your dashboard. #lessonlearned #thehardway

On our last day, we ventured over to Hilton Head and had a wonderful day at the beach...we spent a luxurious 4 hours there, with almost the entire beach to ourselves. We then enjoyed a great dinner at The Crazy Crab, where Ethan and I picked up matching shirts!! :) 

For being on vacation, Ethan had more than his share of whiny/crabby moments of which drove me absolutely nuts. I swear 9 is 1000x more difficult than 4yo. He was so much more easy going back then (or didn't care). I've tried a variety of things in an attempt to curb his whinyness, but none seem to be working all that well. One morning last week, he woke for school and asked if I had my work computer at home, so he could stay, what? No, you need to go to when he didn't quit whining, I told him he lost the ipad for the day, which only caused MORE whining!!! Seriously! He's going to drive me to drink. 

I've been slowly making my way through a few different books, but I will admit, my desire to read lately has been quite lacking....not entirely sure why.

Work has been very busy and I've been dealing with some other life drama stuff, which has kept me from hopefully I'll be able to get back in the swing of things soon.

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Bookish and Not-So-Bookish Thoughts

Bookish and Not-So-Bookish Thoughts is a weekly blogging event hosted by Bookishly Boisterous. It allows book bloggers (and non-book bloggers) to write about pretty much anything, bookish or otherwise (i.e. share exciting plans for the weekend, rants on things encountered during the week. **************************************************************************************

Bossypants by [Fey, Tina]
1) I'm currently reading Bossypants. I wasn't initially interested in reading it, though I thoroughly enjoyed Amy Poehler's "Yes Please" and while Bossypants is fairly enjoyable, I remember laughing a lot more while reading "Yes Please". To add to that, they are both rather similar, to the point where I sometimes think I'm reading Amy's book, vs. Tina's.

Product Details
2) I'm also reading "And We're Off" which I received through the Book of the Month club a few months ago. It's an enjoyable book, but since it's a "real" book vs. e-book, I have limited opportunities to read it. Most of my reading is done in bed at night (with lights off) so I'm on my iPad. We have been enjoying some late summer weather and had some pool time on Sunday where I was able to enjoy a "real" book. If I don't finish it soon, I'll take it along to the beach for Fall Break in just 2 weeks. Woohoo!!

Distressed Graywashed Round Accent Table
3) I'm in love with this table for my home library! 

4) I've been having a lot of "is this all?" type thoughts lately...meaning, is this all my life is going to be? going to work in a cubicle in a corporate setting, racing home, taking E to his after school activities, racing back home and getting ready for the next day??? I just feel like there should be more to it than this, don't get me wrong, I don't want to be CEO or anything like that, but I feel like there's something bigger out there for me, but it continues to escape me. this is a super frustrating feeling. I love spending time with Ethan of course, but it constantly feels like it's not enough time and the time we have is spent rushing from one place to another. then there is the whole piece of "me-time" of which I have none, but I can leave that on the back burner for now, as I have for quite a few years now anyway. i also find myself longing to be an "expert" in something...I don't even know what that thing would be, but i feel like I only know a little about this and that, but not a lot about anything and that bothers me. is this what they would call a mid-life crisis? is this normal? have you ever felt this way?

5) On the brighter side, 7 more work days until some quality beach time with my mom and E. Good times.

6) We had a major air conditioning issue at our house over the past two weeks. talk about "freak accident"...we hung a few things on the living room wall and it is believed that in that process we hit the copper pipe to the AC which essentially "broke" the AC for upstairs. did I mention the unusually warm weather we have been having the past 10 days? it's been fun. our choices were to knock out the wall and find the hole/broken pipe, then have the AC company repair it and recharge the AC. We would repair the wall. this was also the (much) cheaper option. on saturday afternoon, when we were supossed to begin this crazy project, my husband decided that he just did not feel confident (or energetic) enough to deal with the wall issue and instead we went for the (unfortunately) more expensive option of running the pipe outside the house. the project was completed yesterday and while it's nice to have the AC back, i realized that i also enjoyed sleeping with the windows open and warmer air. it was freakishly quiet in the house when i went to bed last night. 

7) This Friday I will have the RF Ablation done...I'm both excited and a bit freaked out. Thankful that I will be put into "twilight" status. lol!
Image result for handmaid's tale
8) I caved to the pressure and hype of  The Handmaid's Tale and watched the whole 1st Season on Hulu last week. Around episode 8/9 I wasn't planning to continue with season 2, but then when I watched episode 10, I changed my mind. Whoa! Gonna be good!

Image result for mindy project
9) Speaking of Hulu....the only reason I signed up for it in the first place was to watch The Mindy Project. I absolutely love her and the show...ok and I definitely loved Danny. I can't wait to see what happens during this last season. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't care who her baby daddy is...the fact that she isn't saying makes it that more intriguing. I secretly hope it's BJ Novak. They'd be so cute together. 

Monday, September 18, 2017

*the struggle is real*

Image result for lower right side back pain image

my life, these days, revolves around back pain and little else.

it's sad and yet amazing how back pain can control every single thing you do.

the 3rd injection was less than successful.

i've gone for a 2nd opinion. the news was not good.

there is only 1 thing left to be done before surgery - an RF ablation AKA burning the nerves that send the pain signals to my brain. sounds awesome huh?

i'm NOT at all willing to do surgery at this point...despite the insane level of pain i've been experiencing lately. (this weekend was near torture)

the surgeon told me the surgery would include screws and rods in my back! what? 

i'm 46 yrs old. i can't believe i'm in need of such a procedure.

i'm beyond depressed about this and am wondering when/where the full blown melt down will occur.

i think it almost occured this morning when i put a top on that i hadn't worn since last summer...and it's much tighter than it was. the weight gain piece of all of this has me completely devastated.

i worked SO hard to lose weight and do as much running as I did last year...and now, its all for nothing. i'm up 10-12lbs.

we had biometric screenings at work last week & I already got my results. of course they are much worse than last year. as if that's a surprise.

this may be extreme, but i do feel like "nothing" is going right for me these days.

i can barely stand up in the kitchen long enough to do the dishes or bake some brownies.

should i be thankful i do not have a job that forces me to stand for long lengths of time? ugh.

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Bookish and Not-So-Bookish Thoughts

Bookish and Not-So-Bookish Thoughts is a weekly blogging event hosted by Bookishly Boisterous. It allows book bloggers (and non-book bloggers) to write about pretty much anything, bookish or otherwise (i.e. share exciting plans for the weekend, rants on things encountered during the week. **************************************************************************************

1) I love this idea! Hide a Book on September 18. I know it's been done quite a bit in the UK, particularly by Emma Watson, but I'm really hoping it picks up here in the US. I'm planning to hide a few copies of (one of) my favorite books. While I'd like to buy the stickers, I think I'll make my own and save my pounds (dollars) for something else. :)

2) Looking forward to the 3 day weekend. Who doesn't look forward to an extra day off? Taking a mini road trip up to VA to see my dad.

3) I'm still "on the fence" with following through on being a Lyft driver. I've heard SO many stories of how much $$$ people have made and I love the flexibility...but as a female, I'm also a bit frightened. Oh and then there's the part where my husband doesn't want me to do this at all (for safety issues). Ugh! It just seems like it's the only (relatively well paying) part time job that would really work for me and not make me feel like a (broke) loser. Your input welcome! :) I just really want to pay down debt and increase my savings....after 6 years in a private school (and making VERY little money), I'm trying to make up some ground. *sigh*

*ETA - the more I read #3, the more I am "accepting" that it's probably just not a good idea. :(

4) I had a great time last weekend at the scrapbooking crop with my mom. Despite many many hours of (nearly) uninterrupted crafting, I remain quite behind...though I was able to fully complete my Week in the Life album from cover to cover. So excited about that. 

5) It seems whenever I return from one of these scrapbooking events, it is days, if not weeks, before I get back to scrapbooking. I'm happy to report that I actually jumped right in on Tuesday night to get a couple things done...of course, I stayed up too late and paid for it on Wednesday morning. Ha!

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Bookish & Not-So-Bookish Thoughts

Bookish and Not-So-Bookish Thoughts is a weekly blogging event hosted by Bookishly Boisterous. It allows book bloggers (and non-book bloggers) to write about pretty much anything, bookish or otherwise (i.e. share exciting plans for the weekend, rants on things encountered during the week. **************************************************************************************

1) Found another good podcast! I have become a bit addicted to The Vanished!! Each podcast is a story about someone who has gone missing and has still not been found. Pretty interesting.

2) Commence the countdown to Fall, Ethan and my mom are going to Panama City Beach, FL. I haven't been there for 25 years, so I'm pretty excited to go back since it's much more developed now. I'm also really excited to be going somewhere different/new. I need to investigate all the activities available there so we can determine what we should do. So excited!

3) Ethan & I enjoyed the Great American Solar Eclipse  from our friend's farm in Greenback, the path of Totality and it was totality awesome! :) Schools were closed here because of the timing of the eclipse as it would occur during dismissal, which means it would have been dark...then there's the whole "once in a lifetime" thing too. 

4) On that note, I couldn't believe the craze on eclipse glasses. It was like Cabbage Patch kids all over again. Thankfully we had our glasses for a while and were ready to view.

5) In addition to being off this past Monday, I was also off on Friday (Yay! 4 day weekend) to take Oscar to have 2 wisdom teeth pulled (the anesthesia was hilarious) and then I enjoyed (not) yet one more back injection at 1pm.  As suspected, it seems it was a complete waste of money since I have only had about 1-2 days of "relief". The doctor seemed to think it could help....or maybe he just wanted the $. (They are billing the insurance $1000+ for each injection). I have decided to move forward on a 2nd opinion since only 3 days after this last injection, I had pain equal to before every having seen him. #fail

6) I've had a lot of days off in August...and tomorrow is another day off. I'm excited to go on a scrapbook "retreat" with my mom this weekend. We will be at a local hotel, but it's so much fun to scrapbook from morning til really late at night. I hope to make some mega progress since the whole house painting and move completely derailed my scrapbooking progress.

7) September will be rough as I have NO days off scheduled. Oof. Add to that a co-worker has quit and will be leaving early September, leaving only 3 people on our team....down from 5 just two months ago. This should be interesting. 

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Another Year Older

*disclaimer: this post is more for my memory in looking back years from now to recall what was happening in my life at this time. you may find it rather boring. consider yourself warned. :)
Image result for birthday cake images

*i turn 46 today.

*i bought my first pair of readers last night. much needed.

*i'm getting my teeth cleaned today...because I know how to celebrate a birthday! ugh!

*looking forward to dinner @ chez guevara tonight with ethan, mom & dave.

*we are living in our 3rd home together.

*i am not loving my job (no surprise there).

*i've been struggling with some significant back pain for about 1 year now.

*i still wonder "what if" to having made other choices earlier in life. this will probably never stop.

*i love scrapbooking, specifically "project life" but struggle to find the time to do it.

*i love reading, but like scrapbooking, struggle to find the time for it. usually in bed at night or while i'm walking/running on the treadmill.

*i'm going on a scrapbooking weekend with mom starting on friday and cannot wait. these are always so much fun and i'm glad we've made it sort of a tradition. this is our 4th "retreat" - to a local knoxville hotel - so not necessarily "retreat" but super fun nonetheless. so excited.

*and it's official. oscar has forgotten my birthday. i just got off the phone w/him and he neglected to wish me a happy birthday. gonna see how long it takes him to remember.

*updated: oscar called back 20 minutes later to wish me a happy birthday. *sigh*

Wednesday, August 09, 2017

Bookish & Not-So-Bookish Thoughts

Bookish and Not-So-Bookish Thoughts is a weekly blogging event hosted by Bookishly Boisterous. It allows book bloggers (and non-book bloggers) to write about pretty much anything, bookish or otherwise (i.e. share exciting plans for the weekend, rants on things encountered during the week. **************************************************************************************

Love & Gelato by [Welch, Jenna Evans]
1) I read "Love & Gelato" in 2 days!!! That never happens. It was that good. Great YA book for middle school and up. I loved traveling through Italy with the characters. This is one of those that I was sad to finish because I was enjoying it so much. Also, it's only $1.99 on Kindle...grab it while you can. That's a great deal! I think I may stick to YA for a bit, as I haven't been having much luck with adult books.

2) Today is our 3rd full day of 4th grade and so far the complaints have stayed to a minimum...thank goodness. Really hoping and praying that this year is amazing for him. That may be wishful thinking though. 
3) I'm taking a class at the end of the month to learn how to make French Macarons...I am super excited. They are a bit intimidating to make so I'm hoping to get all the secrets and then make them myself (and maybe sell them if I have any luck).4) I signed back up at the YMCA. Hopefully I can get there more regularly than I was during last school year. On Tuesday night, I spent almost 2 hours there, including a 1 hour yoga class. The downside to the Y is their child watch still. It's sub par at best. The kids SIT in a room with a few games and then just the other night, Ethan was told he can't use his iPad there. What? How about you take the kids to the gym so they can run around and, oh I don't know, EXERCISE!!!!??? It's hard for me to get there w/o Ethan in tow, but I will probably limit it to 2x/week and then Saturday mornings when he is at drum practice. I definitely won't be staying for 2 hours though as that's just way too long for him to sit around with little to nothing to do.5) I've been in a funk the past couple days and really need to shake it. I think though, that the only things that will help me shake it is winning the lottery or going on a really long beach resort vacation. Ha!
One True Loves
6) I've read so many positive reviews about One True Loves and I'm finally reading it. After Love & Gelato, I just wanted to read another YA book. They are quick reads and very enjoyable. I'm 33% done and plan to finish it this weekend.

Thursday, August 03, 2017

Bookish and Not-So-Bookish Thoughts

Bookish and Not-So-Bookish Thoughts is a weekly blogging event hosted by Bookishly Boisterous. It allows book bloggers (and non-book bloggers) to write about pretty much anything, bookish or otherwise (i.e. share exciting plans for the weekend, rants on things encountered during the week. **************************************************************************************
-my fortune from dinner last night w/my dad :)

1) I joined a new book club! First meeting is tonight. I haven't finished the book. I don't much care for the book. And then, I can't even go tonight as I have a schedule conflict. Try again next month.

2) Today is "meet the teacher". Ethan is out of town with his dad, coming back late tonight, but I"ll go up to the school to meet her and drop off supplies. Praying for a better year this year. 

3) I'm done with the chiropractor. Next up: steroid injection #3 on August 18. #CantWait

4) Excited to have "summer hours" at work...which means if I can work 36 hours in 4 days and then 4 on Friday morning, I can leave at 12noon. Woot! Doing this tomorrow.

5) Speaking of work...didn't find any school counselor gigs, so I'm staying put for now. We will see what happens...and if you watch the news, it was just announced that my company was purchased by a really big company to make together the biggest company in this particular industry. Lots of change coming, but the job losses that typically occur from this sort of thing are at least a year away. 

6) Booked a trip to Fl with my dad for Spring Break next year. So excited as we typically don't go anywhere for Spring Break. Happy that I'll have the whole week off with my little man too!

7) Speaking of FL, I really just need to move seems everytime I plan a vacation, that is where I want to go. I just told the husband that I want to go to Panama City Beach for Fall Break for a few days. I haven't been there for over 20 years, before it was so "happening"....there seems to be a lot to do and I'd love to take Ethan there. Husband isn't so excited, but I'm hoping to convince him. :) After all, we are ALWAYS going to SC and while I love it there, I really want to go someplace new.

The Blinds by [Sternbergh, Adam]
8) Chronically short on time to read. Just had to say that. Speaking of books, I just choose my last book for BOTM club and while it's not my usual genre, it sounds amazing...I chose The Blinds by Adam Sternbergh.

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Bookish and Not-So-Bookish Thoughts

Bookish and Not-So-Bookish Thoughts is a weekly blogging event hosted by Bookishly Boisterous. It allows book bloggers (and non-book bloggers) to write about pretty much anything, bookish or otherwise (i.e. share exciting plans for the weekend, rants on things encountered during the week. **************************************************************************************
Image result for happier in hollywood podcast Image result for wondery locked up abroad Image result for elise gets craft ypodcast
1) Happy to report that I've found a couple podcasts to enjoy during my long drawn-out cubicle days---Happier in Hollywood is pretty's by Gretchen Rubin's (Happiness books) sister and her co-worker.  I've also listened to a few of the "Happier w/Gretchen Rubin" podcasts, but this will not likely be a regular one. I've jumped back on the wagon with "Elise Gets Crafty"....maybe every other podcast is relevant to me as she talks alot about building a small business...I don't have a small business to build, so I only usually listen to the craft-specific podcasts. Lastly, I am close to obsessed with "Locked Up Abroad" and am anxiously awaiting the next podcast to be published. Check it out, if you haven't already.

2) I need a side hustle...I have no imagination to create or come up with some great I keep reverting to becoming a Lyft driver, but then reality kicks in and I decide that I don't want to get murdered in my car. I'll be poor & unfulfilled forever. *sigh* I would love to know if you would consider being a Lyft driver...I started filling out the application but stopped...I think I would be scared to pick strangers up, even if I stayed in "good" areas, which would be my plan. It's so tempting however, as the money is pretty good. Who couldn't use a few extra hundred dollars, right? 

3) Check out Ethan's 36 second video he made in Apple Camp last week.

Image result for bored cartoon girlImage result for apple logo
4) Ethan has been at sleep away camp this week. As much as I looked forward to the alone-time, I've also found myself wondering what to do or even with nothing (exciting) to do.  I was hoping to take advantage of the time to do things that I cannot do with Ethan, as he and I are together 99% of the time. Instead, I've done the usual: laundry, dishes, recycling, much as I love to read, sitting down and reading for hours on end at my house just doesn't work for me. I really need to be removed from my home in order to read at length....strange...maybe. In my defense, Starbucks keeps their AC way to freakin' cold for me and I'm pretty much "over" iced chai and I don't drink coffee. Doesn't leave much of a reason to go there. I've also felt like I need to get my 10k steps every day which means getting on the treadmill everyday after yeah, not really doing much out of the ordinary this week. On Monday, I did go to Kohls to use a $5 certificate and buy some socks for Ethan. Weeee! I was hoping the Apple Store would have some more cool classes this week, but no. Speaking of that though, the Photo class I took on Saturday evening was awesome...I learned A LOT about using Photo on the Mac and additional ways to organize my pics. I had NO idea I could order prints and make books through Apple!! Amazing!!

5) My back continues to give me trouble. A lot of trouble actually. After 2 steroid injections and a lot of "pestering" from my mom, I have returned to the chiropractor to see if he can help me. I provided him with a copy of my MRI and he said he has some adjustments that may help me. Fast forward 6 visits later and no real progress has been made (again!) continues to be inconsistent, no matter what I do, treatment or activity-wise. I'm beyond frustrated and just this morning I wanted to just break down in tears about it...and then there's the 10-12 lbs that I've gained as a result. Yesterday, I did 15 minutes of traction at the chiropractor and still no improvement.
Image result for back pain cartoon
6) Because I had just returned to the chiropractor, I postponed my 3rd injection from this past Tuesday to August 24 - the next available date - *sigh*....hindsight, I wish I hadn't but I wasn't in as much pain the day I cancelled as I am today and still wanted to give the chiropractor some time. Of course, they never have cancellations for injection appointments, so the chance of getting in sooner is next to nothing....but then again, the 2 injections I've had have only lasted 6 days each. #fail

7) Why can't all areas of life align in a good way at the same time? Seriously,  it seems that if I'm happy at work, home is a bit of a wreck....or as is my reality right now, when I'm not happy at work, home life is pretty good. Ugh!

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Bookish and Not-So-Bookish Thoughts

Bookish and Not-So-Bookish Thoughts is a weekly blogging event hosted by Bookishly Boisterous. It allows book bloggers (and non-book bloggers) to write about pretty much anything, bookish or otherwise (i.e. share exciting plans for the weekend, rants on things encountered during the week. **************************************************************************************

1)If I can't have my summer off, at least I can work from home quite a bit. Ethan is attending Apple Camp, the computers, not the fruit and he absolutely loved it after just one day. Day 2 & 3 are Thursday & Friday. It's 90 minutes and the parent (or guardian) has to stay in the store the entire time. Lucky me, I have a book I can take with me tomorrow. My mom took him on Tuesday, the first day. I'm just happy I can take the mornings off to be w/him and then work from home in the afternoons.b vn                     b

2) Happy to report that we got all the childcare situated for the remainder of the summer...phew last week was one of those that definitely goes in the "parenting is hard" book. These last 3 weeks should be Ethan's favorites. Today he was with a friend of mine who has 2 middle school age daughters - it was like "mom/daughter" combo babysitting (mom is a teacher). Ethan had a blast and said he wishes he was going there again tomorrow, but he's stuck at home with me. Ha. I'm just glad he was so happy!

3) Added bonus to #2...I have a new friend-in-the-making. I knew the family already and they recently moved into our subdivision. We ran into one another at the pool recently where I ended up invited to her book club. Hooray!! We will be reading "Swimming in the Moon", I haven't started it but will very soon.

4) This summer will definitely go in the books as one of the LEAST greatest. Even our vacation was (much) less than stellar, primarily because my husband didn't take the whole week off like he was supposed to, which left E and I tagging along to his job site and/or doing things on our own instead of as a family, which is one of the main points of going on a (family) vacation. *sigh*

5) I'm back at the chiropractor for my back. He's become a good friend of my mom's so she has been telling him about my treatment with the orthopedic doc and the really fun injections (ouch!). I gave him a copy of my MRI and he told my mom and also called me to say that he has some adjustment moves that could help...I'm to the point where I am willing to try anything if it means I don't have to get another injection and/or I can get some relief. I've gone 4x now and there is definitely some improvement but as always, it is inconsistent. The past 2 days, however, have been my best in a while. I go again on Friday and then need to decide whether to call and postpone my 3rd injection, which is scheduled for next Tuesday. Getting old stinks.

6) Ethan just fell asleep on the couch watching tv. that almost never happens. he clearly had a blast at our neighbors house today. love that!

7) I've clearly moved into the world of "boring adulthood"...or in other words, I have next week completely to myself as E goes to sleep away camp and of course the husband is always out of town during the week. I cannot find a single thing to do with myself. There are no movies I care to see. I'm not a drinker & don't really have friends who are either, so going out on a "girls night" isn't happening either. I did find 2 yoga classes I may attend and hopefully my back will feel better and I can spend some serious time on the treadmill...but I really want to do things that I don't get to do usually because I have Ethan with me. Last time, I was able to go see "The Zookeeper's Wife" which was good....I had read the book a few years ago.

8) The husband and I are trying to make plans for a "date night" after we drop Ethan off at camp on Sunday. We enjoyed dinner @ a Thai restaurant last time and plan to eat somewhere else that Ethan wouldn't enjoy since we'll be on our own. We are really bad at making time for "date nights" so we are both pretty excited about this opportunity.

9) We really want to cut the cable costs in our house and switch over to something like Amazon Firestick or alternative...but I do not know the first thing about any of them. My husband is the TV watcher but it's mostly news (yawn) or military/history channels. I just don't know which option to choose that would give us what we want...I want HGTV, Food Network and all those lovely channels....I can live without everything else.