stopping by

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I've been wanting to blog for a few days now, but have been struggling to find either (1) the time or (2) the energy.

Also, I feel that once again I only have "downer" things to report...like how crazy stressed out I am over my upcoming Comprehensive Exam...30 days to go!! 

And my disappointment in the professors for not holding the Orientation for Comps until THIS Friday, giving us less than 1 month to study for the test. Ugh. Thankfully I only have the one class this semester, but most other students have 2-3 other classes...of course they don't have a full time job or a 2 year old...so I guess it balances out in the end...I dunno.

I sure hope the orientation magically boosts my confidence in passing...I'm so terribly afraid. Everyone says to me that I'll be fine etc....but when I'm the one taking the test and I'm the one feeling less than confident, those "I'll be fine" comments don't hold much weight right now. I do hope they are right though. I SO want to be walking across that stage on Dec 10!!!

Anyway, tomorrow is my first day "in the classrooms" - the first round of Classroom Guidance lessons...I have Kindergarten and 2nd Grade, then 1st Grade on Thursday. 

I'm also crazy tired as I'm just not made for getting up at 5:30am!! Just another job incompatibility factor for me. Ugh! I'm trying SO hard to stay up 'til 11pm to study and sometimes cave at 10:30pm cuz I just can't make it. I miss those good 'ol days when I was up til 1am!!

And with that...I'm off to put E to bed and try to get in a bit of studying myself.

school school school

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Remember the "oversharer" from last summer? 

Yeah, turns out she's pretty funny and rather nice once you get past the oversharing stuff.

She's in my Internship class on Thursday nights and she was in one of my classes this past Spring as well. She's also the only other one in the program so close in age to me (1 year younger than me) which is really kinda nice. Funny how some things turn out...

I'm wishing my life away and that's a crappy way to live.

I want so badly to have these COMPS over with that I am struggling to focus on anything or even be an itsy bitsy teeny weeny bit happy. I'm miserable when I'm not distracted from thinking about COMPS.

Studying in groups for COMPS is encouraged. There are 2 other gals in my program who will be taking them. One gal I like, the other I could totally live without. The one I could live without actually had triadic supervision w/me for Practicum (Spring), yet today she did not know my last name (I know hers) and her response to my email about studying as a group was that she was SO happy I emailed her because she didn't have my email address...um, ok...that's pathetic... (1) It can be looked up on the university website AND (2) she could email through Blackboard. I think she's full of shit. She's just not friendly and she's kind of snooty. I will probably have to "suck it up" just to study together, even if it's only a couple occasions, but I have seriously contemplated not studying together because she's such a beyotch.

Would you just "suck it up" to get the benefits of group study or study on your own? I feel like I'd be doing myself a disservice by not doing the group study at least a couple times.

She will not turn out to be "nice" like the oversharer did. This I know.

everyday...

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everyday...I wish it was December 10.

everyday...I wish I was the mom in pajamas driving the Lexus GX470 to drop my kid off at school!!

everyday...I wish I felt more comfortable with where I am in life.

everyday...I am exhausted.

everyday...I wish I knew where I belong.

everyday...I wish a lot of things were different.

post by numbers

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949 - blog posts in my Google Reader right now...trying to knock out a few...I've yet to see the 1000+, but I fear it's in my near future.

5 -days in this excruciatingly long week. I'm SO glad it's Friday.

7-blog posts I've written so far in the month of August...now that is just plain sad.

15-books I read this "summer". I'm half way through #16 but started back to school yesterday so I'm not sure if I'll be able to finish the book until December. Ack! Big fail on my "30 books over the Summer" goal...but that's ok I guess. Come January I will only be reading for fun...thank goodness!

111-days to graduation. I am excited & scared at the same time. On October 1, I have to take the terribly frightening Comprehensive Exams in order to graduate. Comps are 3 questions and 3 hours to answer them...essay...long, long essays are expected. Oh and it's on EVERYTHING we learned in the program...let me re-phrase that, I'll have to study everything because ANYTHING could be asked...that's a better way to put it. I call it TORTURE.

70-items I entered in the consignment sale tomorrow...I hope it all sells!! Wouldn't that be nice! :)

Have a good weekend!!

Stressed

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As happy as I should be to have a new job etc, yesterday turned out to be the most stressful day of my life in a very long time.

In addition to work stuff, I got the email announcing when my comprehensive exams would be, Oct 1st. I've been stressed about this exam for 2 years now.

I also have another test on Sep 18, fairly big, but rumor is that it's easier than Comps.

Then today, for a change, I cried at daycare dropoff...and Ethan was off playing with cars.

I have my first internship class tonight and will have to leave early to go back to work for a parent meet & greet session...so it's going to be a long day.

ETA: And then tonite my *(&^&% husband says "so EVERY Thursday you are going to be home late?"  WTF? Are you kidding me? I told him this 2 weeks ago and WHY WHY WHY is ONE flippin night to care for E SO FREAKIN' MUCH for him to do? The next bitch session he goes into, I am going apeshit on him and will not-so-kindly remind him that I am HAVING to finish this degree AND work FT because HE is too mother flippin' lazy to go out and find a BETTER job...instead he bitches about never having money and then has the nerve to tell me that I don't care if E is at daycare from 7am-6pm...which complete BS...he is picked up at 4pm every day and during the Summer when I was not working, I often picked him up at 3pm, right after nap. For the record: O has NEVER EVER EVER had to drop E off at daycare, which we all know is FAR FAR worse than picking him up. My husband is a big effin a-hole....almost ALL of the time. And I lacked to mention how he always says he wants me to stay home with E...ha...I would like that too so get off your flipping lazy ass and find a new job.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I Want Wednesday

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With having a new office to decorate (and clean!) there are a few things I would like...

This adorable print from Etsy...I think it's perfect for a counseling setting...don't you?

Speaking of Etsy...I'd really like this vinyl lettering for the wall behind my desk.

And well, I've found lots of good stuff on Etsy...here's one more.

Actually, at the end of the day, I just wish I knew how/was able to make these prints myself...I would love to do that...I'm sure it's with Photoshop or some similar program...but I have no idea how to go about creating them. *sigh*

Id also like to add a little Mickey to the scene...too bad, they're a bit pricey for me right now.

whirlwind

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This past week has been a whirlwind...even Monday & Tuesday before I started my new job...in fact, it's been a crazy 3-4 weeks what with dealing with the car issues & such.

I finally picked up my car on Tuesday afternoon, repaired to the tune of $900....yeah, glad it's paid off...that would be the bright side if there even is one. Ha! Of course, I was told it would be ready on Monday evening and was making great plans (in my head) for E and I on how we would spend Tuesday, our last (week)day together...all for nothing since I didn't get the car 'til Tuesday. *sigh*

Wednesday was my first real day on the job...we had an all faculty organizational meeting in the morning and a child safety training in the afternoon. I met tons of people, some of which I remember their names, others, not so much...all in time.

I had all day Thursday to work in my office and get it cleaned up, organized & functional for me. Let me preface that by saying, last year it was occupied by a man and the year before that the counselor was only there for one year...so lots of useless papers and such and my garbage & recycling cans were overflowing in no time. I am guessing that I'm about 75% done.

There is also a plethora of outdated books & resources in my office, this would include about 30 VHS tapes...um, yeah...old. I'm trying to clear a lot of this stuff out in order to have a better space for my "counseling" table/chairs. Now that I think of it, I wish I had done a "before" picture...there should be quite a difference when it's done. I was also able to take out a filing cabinet which really opened up some space. Yay!

I'm not a fan of fluorescent lighting so today I took in a cute lamp...one of those 5-head-like ones with different color shades..trying to make it a fun & hip workspace. Anyway, the lamp alone is not enough lighting but I have 4 windows so I should be able to get by on most days, as long as there isn't some crazy overcast weather etc. The winter will be the test...I may need to pick up another lamp at some point.

Late Thursday I was told I am the proud owner of a bulletin board in the front of the school...um...ok. I was planning to work on it today but then discovered I was expected to attend 4 different meetings...there went my whole day. The bulletin board needs to be of a counseling theme and I'm struggling with what to put on it. Suggestions welcome!! I went searching for letters & such yesterday at the Teacher's Store...but that was a big failed mission...found nothing. Back to square one. For you scrapbookers out there, I'm seeing a Cricut would be really handy right now. We have a die cut machine @ school, but it's always being used. I just may cruise out to the scrapbook store tomorrow to make my letters to get a jump on things.

Monday & Tuesday are pretty booked up with meetings/presentations so I'm not sure when I'll get my bulletin board done and students report on Wednesday. And Thursday I start back to school myself..my VERY LAST graduate class 5-8pm. Is it December 10 yet?

orientation

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Yesterday was my orientation for the new gig...my first day is Wed 8.11

It was a great day. Everyone was crazy nice...could this really be happening, I thought.

I sat next to one of our new librarians...before she arrived, I pictured a 60-something lady with white hair pulled back in a bun...um, yeah I was REALLY wrong...shame on me. She is actually mid-20s (guessing), with long blonde hair and really nice. My how the librarian role has changed since I was in school...it's actually a "teaching" position (neat!!). After we had our delicious group lunch, she showed me one of her favorite children's books... "Do Unto Otters" It is super cute...and of course I had to add it to my Amazon Wish List for E to read someday. I think I found a great new resource for getting good book recommendations, childrens and adult books! Hooray!!

I also found out I'll get a little moolah to spend on my "office"...you know, like teachers get for their rooms!! Wowser..how awesome!! And for those of you on Twitter, you saw the lovely gift basket each of the new employees received. Awesome!! It was a great day!

I'm really excited to get in there and get started.

post by numbers - july edition

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1599 - pages read in July

2-days until E is 2.5 years old! Holy Moly...where did the time go?!?!

22-miles ran in July (pathetic & sad, I know!)

62-push ups in July (i gave them up due to excruciating shoulder pain)

1050-crunches in July (not great, but not too bad either I suppose)

900-dollars i will be set back in order to have a healthy, functioning vehicle..boo!

5-days of "summer vacation" I have left.

1400-approximate number of miles traveled by car

125-days to graduation. weeeee!!

rather *un* important decisions

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The start of the Fall (and my LAST!) semester is nearing...2 weeks in fact. As a result, I've been thinking alot about school and particularly my "Study Sundays" and where I will find myself on Sunday mornings.

Last semester I sort of bounced around between Borders, Barnes & Noble and even Starbucks (a bit noisy though), none of them really being that "perfect" spot to bust out the homework/reading I needed to do.

I have another option for this semester though...an Einstein Brothers bagel shop (yum!) opened up not too far away from me. I'm throwing this one into the mix for consideration for a few reasons (1) they have reasonably priced food (unlike previous 3 locations) and (2) they have soda, which is ALOT cheaper than fancy coffee house drinks. My only concern is that it will be noisier or as noisy as Starbucks.

I know this is *such* an important decision...I think it'll boil down to how I feel each week and how early I can get out the door.

favorites right now

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Songs

"Turning Home" by David Nail

"Come Back Song" by Darius Rucker

"I Can't Love You Back" by Easton Corbin

"A Pirate Looks at 40" by Jimmy Buffett

Moments

listening/watching E play on his own - i love his little conversations!

sharing a treat/snack with E

checking email

re-visiting old pictures (1970ish)

Things

my camera

Method Foaming Hand Wash - Sea Minerals Scent
Hawaiian Tropic aloe-after-sun lotion...the scent just screams "beach" and if I can't be/go there, I may as well pretend.

my Jimmy Buffett pirate-themed magnet collection
yogurt with granola mixed in

balance

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I need more balance in my life...I'm not talking about "work-life" balance...I mean "good/bad" balance...let me show you:

Good: Got the school counselor job!!! 

Bad: Car breaks down, spends 1 week in shop.

Bad: Forced to take dad's teeny car on 1400 mile trip to FL.

Bad: Ethan was a beast on the road -both ways. He did SO much better in March!!

Bad: Forgot countless items for trip..i.e. swim diapers.

Bad: My Tiffany bracelet broke.

Bad: Disney denies me entry on ticket w/one day left on it. Treated like a criminal.

Bad: Forced to purchase $80 one-day ticket so dad can get into park.

Bad: Dad's back is so bad...he leaves park after 2 hours in great discomfort.

Bad: Go to Disney character dining alone (with E) & realize I have wrong camera lens.

Bad: Dad's driving home freaks me out & end up driving most of return trip.

Good: Made it home ALIVE.

Bad: Picked up car from shop...and symptoms return less than 24 hours later.

Bad: Get to deal with car dealership AGAIN this week.

I'm ready for the tide to turn...