~a list~

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Swiped this from another blog...you have to answer in 1 word, but some may just be 1 phrase. :)

You're feeling: sad/stressed
To your left: 25 blank CDs (for saving my pictures)
On your mind: job change/daycare/Ethan
Last meal included: huevos rancheros-made by my mother in law... YUM!!
You sometimes find it hard to: say goodbye
The weather: grey & rainy
Something you have a collection of: Pluto figures
A smell that cheers you up: freshly cut grass
A smell that can ruin your mood: burnt popcorn
How long since you last shaved: a couple days
The current state of your hair: styled
The largest item on your desk/workspace (not computer): box
Your skill with chopsticks: non-existent
Which section you head for first in a bookstore: magazines ...and after that?: new releases
Something you're craving: a vacation
Your general thoughts on the presidential race: "is it over yet?"
How many times have you been hospitalized this year: once
Favorite place to go for a quiet moment: my bed
You've always secretly thought you'd be a good: veterinarian
Something that freaks you out a little: taking my child to daycare (freaks me out ALOT)
Something you've eaten too much of lately: homemade refried beans
You have never: been to the Caribbean
You never want to: go to work (these days)

Play along if you like!

~update~

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Just a few updates for those of you who may be interested in my rather routine & mundane life...

~I'm really missing reading everyone's blogs...hopefully I'll fine some time to catch up with them soon...it's a major bummer that they are blocked from work (darn!).

~Rec'd a call about a job on Wednesday. They need a Bilingual Recruiter for a company in Mexico...the best part...I can work from home...waiting to hear back. OMG!

~My mother-in-law leaves on Sunday morning. Sad!! I'm so glad I have a great MIL - no issues. The only positive in her departure is that I can get back to dieting...homemade Mexican food=not good for the diet. She also got up every morning and made me a hot breakfast which is more than I usually eat -but oh so yummy!!

~I know that being a new mom means getting little sleep, but I almost fell asleep driving home from work the other day...not good!

~I'm hoping to get some sleep on Sunday but if E doesn't sleep, neither do I and he hasn't been sleeping for long periods @ a time. The other day the longest nap he took was for only 50 minutes!!!

~I'm dreading Monday 3/31 -it's the first day I'll drop E @ daycare...I know I've mentioned this before but it makes me sick to my stomach. The good thing is that I have a Dr. appt so I'll get out of work early and able to pick him up early as well.

~The prenancy-induced carpal tunnel syndrome in my right hand has not gone away and so I will see my PCP on Monday and see what my options are. My OB had the same thing happen to her and ended up with surgery!!!

~I've decided to make all of E's doctor appointments on Friday afternoons and so I'll take 1/2 day off, pick him up and go to the doctor and then spend the rest of the day with him. Since he'll be getting shots nearly everytime we go, it'll be nice to be @ home with him.

~crap!~

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The lady from the hospital was calling about a different job.

Not the job I was hoping for.

It's also on the day shift so that won't work. Ugh!

Nothing else new...still hate going to work....still hate that E has to go to daycare next Monday.

~update~

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Aaaah - Happy Easter to all! It's nice to be around family - it gives me a little more 'free time' - hence the post.

I came home from work on Thursday to a phone message from a lady @ the hospital!!! Wahoo!

I called her back but she was gone for the day.

We missed each other's calls on Friday too.

I cannot wait 'til Monday to see what job she was calling about.

She rec'd my resume from the L&D Department manager - I had mailed in a copy to her a few weeks ago...what's the point in all those electronic applications when ya' mail a copy of your resume in and then get a call - too funny.

I'm not sure what position she was calling about or even what shift it is - but I have a feeling it may be a daytime job - which is not 'ideal' but it would be a step in the right direction.

If this works out - I'd have benefits, but I would still need daycare so I'll have to run the numbers and make a decision on what's best for all involved.

Happy Easter!!

~i'm way behind!~

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~As you can probably tell, I'm way behind on checking blogs.

~My mother in law is here helping out with Ethan and my guest room is also the office, so I'm not spending much time on the PC these days...which is ok.

~I cannot read or post on blogs from work either....that stinks.

~Hopefully I will be back to regular surfing come 3/31.

~Hasta luego!

~between a rock & a hard place~

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~Today was my first day back @ work...ugh. It was not stressful but I just don't want to be there. I want to be home w/Ethan.

I have a dilemma and want to post the options/scenarios here for your input...they are all job-related.

Job Option 1
Continue to work current position which is contract, no benefits, no paid time off but pays a healthy wage. This job is during the day 7am-3:30pm and would require daycare for Ethan. The contract supposed to be for 6 months (June) at which time I would only continue if they made the position full time with benefits...but ultimately I just don't want to work during the day. In my opinion, 4-5 hours with Ethan per day is NOT enough and that's all I get by working during the day.

Job Option 2
Leave contract job and work FT at Starbucks for a measly wage. This job comes with full health benefits for Ethan and I (cost $140/month). In addition, I would earn approx $40-50 in tips/week. I would work ONLY evenings, for example from 5:30-close and between 35-40 hrs/wk. I would NOT need daycare for Ethan and would be able to be home with him all day.
Ultimately I need to run numbers and really see if this is even feasable (sp?). I don't have much debt, it would just be a matter of making the regular bills.

My mom is not keen on me leaving a good paying FT job for SBUX, but she does not feel the distress that I do over taking E to daycare. It bothers me that I don't have her support.

Also, while working @ SBUX (if that's the option I choose), I would continue to pursue the hospital job. I discovered today that I am not a 'qualifying candidate' because they REQUIRE a particular certification for the job. I have already begun to study for this on my own and I will need to take the exam - hopefully I can do that soon and become eligible for hire. There job postings did not clearly specify the certification is a Requirement and I wish I knew this 1 month ago as I could have begun studying long ago.

It seems that this should be an easy decision and I guess if I take out the emotional piece, it is an easy decision. I told O today, I just want to be happy and by taking Ethan to daycare, rushing to work, back to pick up E and having so few hours w/him...I am not happy.

The job change situation is a temporary thing...I just want to be around for as much of the 1st year of his life as I can - more would be better - but he'll only be this little for a short time. Daycare is a different story when kids are mobile and able to play and interact with others -then I think there are some positive aspects of daycare....just not so much as an infant.

What would YOU do?

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my favorite picture of US

Reasons I'm depressed today...

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1) Have to go back to work next week.

2) Still no call from the hospital.

3) The scale has not moved @ all this past week & I've started walking. Still have 29-30 lbs to lose.

4) Going to have to spend a couple hundred dollars on 'post partum/back to work' clothes!

5) It's rainy and icky outside today.

~go figure~

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~Got a call today from my contracting company.

~They offered me a full time permanent job with the company I am currently working for...in Lynchburg, VA!!!

~I'm *SO* not in the position to relocate, nor would I be motivated to move there.

~My mom would be crushed if I took her only grandson away...not to mention I'd have absolutely NO one to watch Ethan for appts etc.

~The money was good, location bad...oh well.

~I told my contracting company to find out what is going on w/the job I currently have i.e. are they going to hire permanent, when does the contract end etc....they've left the contract open, but told me it was 6 months...I do not want to continue on contract more than 6 months. We'll see what he comes back with.

~Ultimately, I still just want the 7pm-7am hospital job.

~couldn't have said it better myself~

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Quoted from "What to Expect The First Year"....

'Deciding, while you're pregnant, whether you'll stay home or go back to work (and when) after baby is born is like choosing between a job you're familiar with and one you know nothing about.'

They couldn't be MORE RIGHT ON. Before Ethan arrived, I kept insisting I'd be back @ work in 4 wks as long as I was medically able to...ha...now as we cruise through week 5, I am full of dread as March 19th closes in on me.

The book goes on to say 'you may find that nothing you've ever done - including your job- has ever given you so much satisfaction as caring for your newborn does and you may postpone going back to work indefinitely.'

I would certainly be postponing indefinitely if it were an option for me. That would be a pretty easy decision to make anyway as I've never held a job that was remotely 'satisfying' to me...they've all just been jobs.

Still no word from the hospital and feeling more desperate everyday. I called up there though and left a message for one of the department managers with one of the open positions. Maybe if I'm lucky she'll at least call me back....gosh, I hope so.

~showered & hair/makeup done!~

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In honor of me getting in a shower, doing my hair & makeup....we had to take some pictures...I was getting really sad that I didn't have many pics w/Ethan.

By far, this one is my favorite!!

~yep, time flies~

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~Ethan turned 4 wks old yesterday - or 1 month old today - either way you want to look at it...so here are a few pictures. As you can see, Ethan is not too excited about his 1 month birthday. LOL!!

~We didn't have any cupcakes, so here's a donut with 1 candle in it and we sang 'happy 1 month birthday' to him too...(yeah, so we're dorks).

~So, when it's your turn for babies and people tell you to cherish every moment w/your little one(s) because the time will fly by...BELIEVE THEM!! IT'S TRUE! Even though my delivery wasn't the smoothest, I would opt to go back in time one month to do it all again.

~Here is another pic..I'm not looking so good but since I rarely have time for a shower, let alone a chance to do my hair...I'm missing out on pics w/Ethan so I took it upon myself the other day to take some of us....don't laugh too hard!

~randomness~

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~After 3 re-schedules, my friend actually made it over for lunch today..yay for ChikFila.

~Mom & another friend are coming over tonight...bring Qdoba. Yay (again).

~I'm getting a (much needed) haircut on Thursday.

~We are having crazy weather here today..tornado & thunderstorm watches/warnings and now it's crazy sunny out!!

~I emailed the recruiter @ the hospital again today...she probably thinks I'm nuts now.

~SB gave me some stock...wahoo!!

~O got the job offer and it's better than what he currently has, but now he says he's not sure he wants to make a change 'til after bootcamp. To say I'm annoyed would be putting it lightly. I'm tired of carrying the burden around here AND he knows how badly I want to stay home w/Ethan so WTF?

~why I get NO sleep~

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~He falls asleep in my arms (usually after eating)

~I let him stay there for 15-20 minutes...thinking he's FAST asleep.

~I then put him in his bassinet....

~He wakes up within 5 minutes.

~End result: I get no sleep and nothing done. Oh well!!

~I didn't think I was spoiling him...but maybe I have?!?!?!

~consumed~

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~I have a 1-track mind...I am consumed with thoughts all day about how badly I want the hospital to call me....geez! Just give me an interview!! All day my thoughts revolve around getting a job @ the hospital and Ethan....of course, getting the job @ the hospital is really about Ethan...so I guess you could say 100% of my daily thoughts are about Ethan...and I bet that is NORMAL!

~O wasn't able to meet with the guy about the new job on Friday. They are meeting today. Another dance request that the work is what he'll want to do (supervisory vs. physical labor) and that the $$ is good.

~I'm going back to work on 3/19 (if nothing better comes along). I just found out they will be closed on Good Friday. Wow. I haven't worked anywhere in a long time that closes on Good Friday...it's always been an optional holiday. It'll be nice to be off that day after 2 days away from my little munchkin!

~A friend was supposed to come over w/lunch today. She has now canceled for the 3rd time...yeah. I don't know why I bother even rescheduling with her. I have personally witnessed on numerous occasions that virtually everything she says she is going to do, doesn't happen. Apparently she has issues with following through.

~Off to watch TV & feed Ethan (concurrently).

~battle of the bulge~

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Because everyone always wants to know this stuff and I forgot to mention it previously....

I gained a total of 60 lbs while PG.

I've lost 29.5 so far.

I'm sure the last 30.5 will be UBER-DIFFICULT.

I have to do something magical in the next 3 wks because my regular pants don't fit me and I refuse to buy MORE clothes just to go back to work. Ugh!!!

~awesome dude~

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I *LOVE* this sweatshirt...he wore it to the pediatrician the other day...it was really cold out!!

Here he is all bundled up in his car seat getting ready to go.

~a few things~

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~O had an interview a couple wks ago. Today he is supposed to meet with the guy and see what their offer is. Please 'dance' or 'cross your fingers' that it's a good enough offer that would take pressure off of me to work FT.

~I still have not heard from the hospital which is a MAJOR bummer. One of the 5 positions I applied for showed up as 'closed' yesterday, so I know they aren't dragging their feet on the hiring process. In fact, they move it along pretty well, I've been looking @ their jobs for quite some time now. In an effort to get my resume in front of the 'right people' I decided to mail in copies of my resume to the managers of the departments for which I applied. Hopefully this helps. :-) (I feel desperate...can you tell?)

~One option: If O gets the new job w/good offer, I may just opt to temporarily work nights only @ SB (until the hospital comes through). It would allow me to keep affordable insurance (as opposed to paying $300/month for Nat'l Guard Insurance) and we would not need daycare so there would not be so much pressure to make a TON of money.

~Speaking of daycare...I decided on a place yesterday. I also came to the conclusion that I will not walk into ANY daycare and think "OH, THIS IS THE PLACE!"...I'm so wrapped up w/not wanting to leave him at ANY daycare, that I cannot look @ this fairly. The place I chose, however, has been open only 3 weeks, is very clean, HAS OPENINGS RIGHT AWAY, and is competitively priced...about $660/month instead of $850. BTW...the $850/month daycare is THE "Mercedes of daycare" here in town...it's run by the biggest healthcare corp in the area (they also run the hospital where I want to work)...most other daycares are priced around $650 etc.

~O's mom is coming to stay w/us from March 17-30th. Yay for authentic Mexican home cooked meals and in-home child care for those 2 weeks. I won't need daycare til 3/31 and you know I'm hoping something changes before then and I don't need it at all.

~Ethan had a weight check on Thursday at his pediatrician. He now weighs 9 lbs 3 oz. They say he is gaining very nicely. He was 7 lbs 10 oz @ his visit when he was 3 days old. He's definitely eating well because I feel like my boobs are about to fall off sometimes. :-)