Friday, February 25, 2011

Stuck

Stuck.

I really don't like feeling so down, sad, depressed all the time. I really don't. 

I wish I could find even one simple thing to make me feel happy.

Before you start, YES, E makes me happy, don't get me wrong, but I'm talking about other facets of life.

I guess I mean "hopeful"...I wish I could feel hopeful.

And actually I was feeling hopeful for the past few days, but had that all stripped from me yesterday. 

I wish I had something else to be hopeful about. It's certainly NOT the future. Not right now.

In related crappy news, I only have 1 child signed up for my Scrapbooking Camp.

Sure, it's early, but I also know that a lot of people have summer stuff lined up already, so it's really not THAT early.

I've been hopeful my camps would fill up...and I'm already bracing myself for the letdown.

What if no one else signs up and I have to cancel the whole thing? 

Then there's the part where I am an emotional eater. 

Not good when times suck like they do right now.

Ironically, I've lost 4lbs this week only because I promised my aunt we would do a "long-distance diet" together beginning last Sunday.

Tangent: My whole "deal" with Starbucks...pure emotions...I only want an Iced Chai because it somehow makes me "happy" and/or "brightens my day" (except when it's not made well & I've driven off already)....I don't need or want the caffeine. 

While I failed at quitting SBUX altogether, I did go 9 days w/o going there (huge!!), then had a few the following week. I last had one on Wednesday but I DO plan to give them up completely for Lent...so I'm calling this "practice"

Adding to all this dreariness...the Disney Princess 1/2 marathon is this weekend. Even if I do "hate" running, I wish MORE THAN ANYTHING that I was there right now. My two friends that I met there last year are there again this year. All I can remember was how great I felt the moment I finished the race and the entire afternoon afterward.  What a rush. I want that feeling again.

Instead I'm off to another terribly boring weekend, doing nothing fun or exciting.

1 comment:

Amy said...

I am with you on the emotional eating. I am actually in a Biggest Loser challenge with one of my mom's groups where I had to pay $20, and I think I've gained 2-3 lbs. What's worse is I *know* I'm doing it, and every time I say "I'm going to be so mad tomorrow" or "I'm not doing this anymore" but I still do it.