Thursday, September 24, 2009

bullet point review of crappy stuff

~Thank you to all of you for your comments regarding my suspicious situation. I think I'm going to just let it ride itself out and see where it goes. I did forget to mention though that this person is also getting rid of a lot of their possessions - just things around the house that they feel they do not need....this has been going on for a few months now...that's sort of a bigger sign to me than any of the others. We'll see what happens. As they say, only time will tell.
~Remember these super cute shoes?? Yeah, well, I ordered them in an 8 and they were too small. So then I got an 8.5 and well, they fit length-wise but are too wide!! They gap mid-way thru my foot and aren't made in a narrow fit (which I've NEVER needed before) so I finally came to terms with the fact that I'm just not meant to have them. So sad!! I really really like them! and needed them!

~I've decided to challenge myself to drink ONLY water for ONE entire (painful) week (longer if things go well). That means NO Diet Dr Pepper in the morning and no more Diet Orange at night. It also means NO more Iced Chai (gasp!)....I'm hoping I can pull this off...to bad it's not Lent season. Today is day #2.

~Of course drinking all that water is healthy and since I'm feeling ridiculously UNhealthy, fat & gross lately with my running struggles and my recent not-so-brilliant idea to hop on the scale...well, hopefully the water-drinking will make me feel better.

~As for that dreaded scale...remember when I told you about all the moms who told me once they finished nursing their children completely, the last of their baby-weight just "melted" off....yeah, I'm talking more than 8-10 people told me this and so well, I was sort of banking on that happening for me, especially with all the running I was doing. Well, because either the stars are all aligned against me or someone has cast an "always be fat" spell on me...I've actually GAINED 3-4 lbs in the past couple of weeks!! That is unbelievably wrong in so so so many ways. It certainly doesn't help me stay motivated to keep running. Heck I might as well just lay on the couch every night eating Bon Bons at this point...that's way more fun than running! Oh AND my boobs are smaller, so where in the heck did that weight go...apparently it just relocated to another part of my body. Oh lucky me. If I read about another new mom who just can't get the last 5 lbs off, I think I will scream. I'm dealing with 20(freakin)lbs here people....the same 20 lbs that came off quite easily back in 2005 when I first starting running. How is it that I go from running ZERO miles per week to 12-15 miles per week and STILL don't lose any weight?!?!

~and please please PLEASE don't say "muscle weighs more than fat" - I've heard it 1,000,000,000 or more times and having been an athlete practically since birth, I know that. At this point however, there should have been some weight loss or at the very least some changes in how my clothes are fitting.

~So thanks to both the scale and wearing a pair of khakis last week that I hadn't worn since April only to find that they don't fit ANY better than they did back in April makes for one very depressed person here. I think I may look into having my jaw wired shut, even though I watch pretty closely what goes in, I must be doing something wrong.

~on a slightly brighter spectrum I will be taking part in a FREE Operation Bootcamp workout on Saturday morning. they are offered every Saturday, but I'm not sure if I can go EVERY Saturday or if it's a one-time-freebie thing...I'm thinking it may be a one-time-only deal...too bad I can't afford the $300/MONTH tuition to participate. It would definitely jump start my body into doing something!!

~I seem to have this problem lately of comparing my life to other people's lives. Facebook is the devil in this regard. I should probably just quit visiting that website, but that's not so easy. To me it appears that everyone else in the world is so unbelievably happy & life couldn't be better for them. I also hear it around me so it's not all FB. I'm sorry if this is 'woe is me' sounding but really, can I ever get a break? I'm tired of feeling like my life SUCKS but you know what?...in my eyes it really does. (yes, I know it could be worse, but it's always been better, so i'm simply wishing that things would at least go back to "better"...) no freakin' wonder I never know what day it is, all my days are the same...school/work/home, school/work/home and the weekends are home/walmart OR home/barnes & noble...how UNexciting. I never meet anyone new so I have no friends here. all the people in my counseling program @ school are MUCH younger than me so there's no connections there and well, I have no other social outlets. I'm ready for 2010 (I said that same thing last year about 2009) and hope that it proves to be better....hopefully in my practicum & internship I end up meeting some people closer to my (old) age.

Rant over.

13 comments:

Fidgeting Gidget said...

Sounds like you're feeling a lot like I'm feeling these days! Too bad we don't live closer! I need a motivating work out buddy and I think we'd do great..I might even run (if I got one of those shirts you put on here yesterday!) :) Hugs!

Travel & Dive Girl said...

I can totally relate to the weight gain issue.

One thing you may want to consider is that it might be medical - a couple of years after my son was born, I found out that I had hypothyroidism and one of the common signs is weight gain and regardless of how hard you work, it just won't come off. Even with daily medication, I still struggle to just maintain my existing weight. It might be worth looking into.

Hope you feel better...

~**Dawn**~ said...

I did the whole switch to water thing. It was painful at first but now, I actually crave water. Glass of cranberry juice in the morning (for good bladder health) & then water all day long. Every once in a while I will crave something else but there's never anything else in my fridge so I fuss around for while & then settle for water anyway. (T was laughing at me the other night when I did this. I didn't even really know what else I wanted so I was really just whining & looking wistfully into the refrigerator randomly.) Anyway the water thing does get easier!

Lisa Michelle said...

I gave up on weightloss. I just figure if it happens it happens. If it doesn't it doesn't. I have come to realize that I need to do more work. Meaning I have to get off my fat ass and work out if I want to lose weight. If you are really wanting to lose weight, buy a BodyBugg. I was on that program and I have a BodyBugg and it really is the bomb. I just have no motivation. Someday I will put it back on. I highly recommend it. It is the same thing TBL uses on the contestants.

So for your I Want Wednesday next week, I hope I see the BodyBugg up there. It really is the coolest thing ever and I lost weight while using it. It does all the tracking for you. Calories In and Calories Out. Seriously. The best thing ever.

Señorita Andalucíana said...

Saw a quote yesterday that made me smile because I'm in the same boat as you. No matter what I cut out or how much I exercise I cannot loose weight. I don't know who Jane Caminos is but here is what she said -

"A waist is a terrible thing to mind."

Good luck and don't give up on the running, maybe you've hit a few bumps but you are a go getter! I cannot do what you do. I always feel I look like Phoebe from Friends when I'm running :(

JW.BW said...

K13 - I do have a tiny suggestion for you for your weight loss. Have you kept a food log lately? I just started one again when I got here and its really helping me be honest with myself about my exspectations for weight loss. Maybe just try it for the same week you are drinking nothing but water and see if you can figure out whats going on. I am so sorry you are frustrated and if I lived closer (or was even on the same continent) I would def buddy up with you so we both had help getting rid of the pounds. Hang in there.

I am also sorry that your life is not what you want right now. I think we all go through points in our lives like this when its time to shift gears. Hopefully 2010 will be better for you. Try and focus on what doesnt suck, like your totally adorable awesome son!!!

Hang in there!! I am thinking of u!!

{Hugs} JW

Amy said...

One, I still have about 20 lbs to lose from the pregnancy. Although maybe that isn't a comfort since I had triplets, but on the flip side I have NO motivation to go to the gym, despite it being 1 block from my house. Too much alone time in my head. So I don't forsee it coming off soon.

Second, did you see my FB status a few weekends ago, where I pretty much called all the people updating on their fabulous weekend plans liars who were really doing nothing.

Oh, and disregard the 8-10 moms who say the last few pounds melted off. For every one who says that, there are at least 10 for who it didn't. Most people only say good stuff, whether it be weight loss or babies who sleep through the night or babies who are perfect angels or whatnot. They want to seem special. The rest shut their mouths because it makes them feel inadequate. It's a rare person like us who will relay the crap like we will!

Rachel said...

Facebook is a dangerous thing...
And those shoes are so cute! it's too bad they don't fit right!
you'll have to let us know how that bootcamp goes. I've always been curious!

emilysuze said...

1) E=serious cuteness. Good luck with the Gap gig. How many times can we vote cause I'll go every day if I can! :)

2) I've never dealt with potential terminal illness so I haven't weighed in on that issue. Hopefully it's not what you think it is, but you never know.

3) You are a much stronger person than me! I could never go without my diet Dr. Pepper in the morning! I still drank it while I was pregnant because I couldn't go without that fizzy goodness. I hear it slims down inches, but I can't give it up long enough to find out.

4) Weight loss=the devil. Since C got home I've gained back 10 of the 30 pounds I lost. Then went to my doctor and he said I need to lose 50 more. Awesome. Maybe it is a medical issue since you've been doing such a good job with the running and what-not.

5) Boo to the shoe makers. They were so cute too. Maybe this just means that there's a newer and better pair waiting for your toes out there?

lindsay said...

dude i have been feeling wayyyy fat lately. i should probably try that water deal too! i know i need to work on hydration anyway... even after my long run last weekend my belly was still doing it's usual kangaroo pouch look. i used to feel skinny after long runs but not lately.... grrr.

Optimistic Pessimist said...

I'm with you on the not losing weight from running thing. I have been running a ton and have not lost any weight...and it's not the muscle things either (I'm so sick of hearing that) my close still don't fit the way the used to. I thought things were getting better, but turns out they didn't. Obviously running isn't a good way to lose weight for me...and honestly if I can't lose weight from this then nothing is going to help. I'm trying to move into that acceptance stage (not being successful at it though).

Goog luck with the no soda thing...it's gotta be tough, but i know you can do it!

Secret Sylvia said...

Oh, I hate it when a pair of shoes don't turn out. I've been on the look out for the perfect pair for a while, now, and I'm always disappointed. I just wanted my feet comfortable...and somewhat stylish, maybe.

I've done the water thing. I actually, I did water and tea (but not the sugar-water stuff). Green tea actually boosts your metabolism, so it helps to drink it at meals.

As far as comparing yourself to everyone else, I for, one, feel like I am hopeless and unhappy in so many ways. And you wouldn't know by my FB status or notes I post up there that I feel this way. Or that I have doubts about my job that I thought would be so fulfilling. The thing is, I only log onto FB when I feel up and giddy...so all my stuff up there makes me look like that all the time.

I talked to my mother-in-law one night about my doubts with my life and her reply was--but you seem so happy online!

Sometimes, it's not the way it seems.

Chele76 said...

I noticed a few people already mentioned what I was going to suggest... but I'll still suggest it.

Do you keep a food journal / food log? I find that counting calories is a MUST for me. I've been counting (on and off) for about 10 years now. And I find that is the key for me. Its so easy to have those couple extra calories go in, and not even realize it.