Wednesday, March 30, 2011

What's the point?

So much for taking a mental health day at any point the rest of this school I sure hope Ethan doesn't get sick again cuz I've got no one to help me out there either!!

Apparently I have used up all of my sick days and then some.

Today was payday and my check is $200+ short! Likely docked for the last couple days I was home with Ethan. No warning...yeah thanks for that!

Totally sucks! I did send an email to inquire but I'm pretty sure I know what the answer will be.

Totally defeats the purpose of tutoring during Spring Break, of trying to get ahead.

I'll never get ahead it seems.

It's always something.

I'm so tired of trying. Of working extra to not fall short all the time.

What is the point?

It feels as though the world is against me.

I'm so sick of looking around me everywhere and seeing carefree, happy people...not a worry in the world...having babies, happy marriages, new cars, all the money they need and then some.

So sick of it all. I feel like such a loser. I hate this life!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


Sarah said...

Ahhh, don't feel that way! I know life sucks sometimes, but I promise, there is always something good in all of the bad. I know, when you are bummed, this is not always what you want to hear (or anyone), but it's usually true. Think of it this way, if nothing else, you have the unconditional love of your sweet little man....sometimes there is nothing better. And I say that being a happily married girl. Nothing can replace your child. He is your reason to keep going and stay positive if nothing else! We've felt quite poor for a long time too, like we were in quicksand and only recently are we finally starting to gain some ground. Sometimes it does take years. It did for us. To some, I may seem like I have a lot (I will never say 'have it all' cause that is so far from the truth) but I am not carefree by any means. I worry a lot and its hard. Life is a constant struggle but there are good things and I know you will find your happiness one way or another, even if it takes longer than you thought. With even just your drive to go back to college, that tells me you have what it takes to get where you want/need to be. Don't give up. Sorry for the long message but just wanted to give you some encouragement! And I won't say 'it could be worse' even though it could - haha! :) I remember you said you don't like that and I know what you mean by that. Sometimes you need to vent and just need people to listen without judging. No judgement here! Hope it starts to feel better to you soon!

emilysuze said...

I often look at other people and wonder how the heck they can afford everything they are going, doing, and buying. Especially since we're all in the military and we all know exactly how much the other person makes. It is incredibly depressing.

Perhaps the smaller paycheck is a mistake and you'll get back pay? Fingers crossed!

P.S. How's the new job hunt going?

Anonymous said...

I work extra to not fall short all the time, too - still, weirdly enough, the money always ends way before the month does..:x

We're all in the same boat hun. Don't give up!

The point is, you will finally get it right - despite it all ;)