Monday, October 19, 2009

running fail

~i feel like a failure....when it comes to running specifically (although in other ways too, but we'll just discuss the running here)

~two of my friends ran Marathons yesterday...one in MI and the other in CA. For both it was their 2nd marathon. both improved their time by 7 minutes. neither have been lifelong die-hard runners...which contributes to my grand feelings of failure-ism.

~so far Sep & Oct have been lackluster running months for me...for multiple reasons...such as (1) i'm bored with it, (2) i no longer get that "rush" that everyone talks about (3) multiple aches & pains while running, (4) feelings of no progress (5) lack of time....to just name a few.

~I have a 5K race on Saturday - the Komen. Should be interesting to see how I do considering my extremely low mileage over the past 60 days. i wish i could say i didn't care...but i DO care. i want to do well.

~I was hoping to run this morning while E naps, but not sure how that will work out as I had a "procedure" done on Friday @ the doctor and the jarring motion of running isn't going to feel so well. I may just have to walk.

~I so badly want to "be" a runner, but am feeling rather defeated in that area at this point. i won't give up though. i will still attempt to run the WDW 1/2 in March, but I sure wish I was making progress in my training so I could feel a bit better about it all. and speaking of training, the other challenge is that I just don't have time right now to go out and run 7-8-9 miles every couple days either...so i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place i suppose.

~and these feelings just contribute to the ever-increasing mountain of negative feelings I have about myself in that I have nothing to feel that good about right now (besides E, people!!!) ...or say, nothing going for me...i'm not good @ anything nor is there anything unique about me or my life. i'm just plain and well, that bores me.

7 comments:

JW.BW said...

K13- I wish you wouldnt be so discouraged. Please go back and look at all of your nike+ data, all the way back to day one, where you werent able to run even 2 miles yet!!! You have improved!!!

You arent plain.. your creative and frickin hysterical. I surely wouldnt cyber stalk you if u were plain!!!

Hope things get better!!!

M.J. said...

Anytime you have to push yourself there are ups and downs. Personally, I know running is not for me. I like paddling, hiking, biking...just not running. If your negative feelings about running continue and you decide to give it up, that doesn't make you a loser. It's great that you tried something new. You don't have to like and stick with everything you try, ever. Don't be so hard on yourself!

K13 said...

Jessi-Thank you...I will go & look @ my Nike stuff...I just hate that I've hit this brick wall (for so long now) and then I am surrounded by successful marathoners. Ugh.

MJ-thank you!! I know i'm hard on myself..sorry. As soon as the WDW 1/2 is over with (i already paid) then I will likely give up running...it's just that right now it's the quickest & most efficient calorie burning exercise that I can sorta squeeze into my life.

emilysuze said...

I agree with Jessi-- I wouldn't cyber-stalk you if you weren't interesting and fun to read about. :) You have amazing baking skills, your scrapbooking stuff is amazing, and you've come so far with your running. Give your body time to heal though before pounding it out on the treadmill.

Amy said...

You are talented at finding the negative and not the positive in your life. Haha! Sorry, I shouldn't joke, just trying to make you laugh. I agree with JW - just because you may not be good at running doesn't mean you're a failure. You tried, it didn't work out. . .or maybe it will, and you will eventually get over this wall. Yes, to some people it comes naturally, and others (like you, it seems) need to work harder. It's like anything else. You lived in Mexico a year and you're fluent. David lived in France 6 months and can only say "ham omelet". So you're good at that.

But I do get where you're coming from. I just told David this afternoon that I am stupid, fat and lazy and have absolutely no goals. And you know what, right now I am okay with that. But I think lots of people who seem exciting because they do things, like travel a lot or whatnot, are still boring. It's not what you actually do that makes you exciting, it's kind of how you react to it. People who have nothing spectacular going on in their lives can be more fun and interesting than people who are doing exciting things.

lindsay said...

we all hit slumps now and then. definitely look back on your training history and remind yourself how far you've come!

maybe you could you make a "5k challenge" with yourself and your upcoming 5k's - set the bar at komen, then set a goal for buddy's, and then another goal at the reindeer run. they don't necessarily have to be pr's - maybe running more consistent splits, or no walk-breaks, anything that is motivating to you.

i feel like a very blah person too. i kinda think it's normal, no biggie :) i wouldn't really want to be on a reality tv show anyway!

~**Dawn**~ said...

I <3 you. Period. Even if you think you're plain & boring. ;-)