Wednesday, October 24, 2007

~changes~

Amy: this is your disclaimer...please use caution when reading this pregnancy-related post...

Change is never easy. I think I do fairly well when it comes to change - generally speaking. Certainly there are some changes that are easier to get through than others...being PG is not one of those easy changes for me. I'm sure it's easy for some though.

Shopping for maternity clothes sucks. I went to get a pair of jeans today on my lunch hour. I have 1 pair already. I first wore them a couple wks ago. They are quite comfy for the most part but I quickly discovered that after taking 2-3 steps they begin to fall down and I end up walking on the bottoms of them. While I realize this may be "in style" right now, it's not comfortable and I'm all about comfort @ this point. Pulling them up every 5 seconds is getting old...quickly!

So I find a pair of jeans, but am a bit disappointed when I have to purchase a size larger than I normally would have. You see, I am NOT one of those itty bitty little pregnant people who just get this cute little poochy belly but still look like they fit in their size 4 clothing. I'm fat all over and while I often remind myself "you are pregnant", that just doesn't help all that much. I'm truly struggling with the whole "getting fat" part of this process. Why can't I just embrace it and let it be what it is? I don't know!

Someone asked me the other day what was the best part of being pregnant...ha...that's funny. Hell if I know. Let me see, I'm always tired, I have no energy and therefore haven't gotten my fat a$$ on the treadmill in forever, I pee every 5-10 minutes, my favorite jeans don't fit anymore, my hair has become unbelievably flat, my nose is permanently congested, my boobs are huge (and I don't like it), I cannot sleep very comfortably anymore...need I go on? No one has let me cut in line @ the public bathrooms, no men have held doors open for me or given up their seat(s) for me...so really, why does everyone say "enjoy your pregnancy!" ???

I think my hormones are completely wacked out today so please forgive me for today's post...I have an OVERWHELMING urge to just ball up and cry for no reason inparticular. I have plenty of things I could think about crying over, but none have me particularly upset @ this very moment, so this urge to shed gallons of tears is completely bizarre.

3 comments:

Amy said...

Oh, sorry! I think this is why post-partum depression is so bad as it is. People say that pregnancy is great and having the baby is great. But for some people it's not great, and the hormones make things worse, and it's not that you don't love your baby, but you can't deal, but if you *say* you can't deal, you're afraid people will think you don't love your baby, so you stay quiet and get more depressed and it's just awful.

I've already said, and I say this to David all the time, that I am expecting to be one of those people who does not enjoy being pregnant, especially when I am not like his friends wives and his sister, who do only have a poochy belly but the rest stays slim. You'll probably appreciate being pregnant more when you have the baby and he's crying all the time and you're not sleeping. You'll think, "Well I was tired then, but at least I was tired in silence!"

krystyn said...

Amy-I suppose that is one way to look at it..tired in silence. :-)

~**Dawn**~ said...

Poor Krystyn. =( I guess the best part will be when you get a sweet adorable baby Ethan at the end.