Thursday, December 27, 2007

not the best day

~UT called
~They 'regret' to tell me that they choose another candidate
~They said I was "a very strong candidate"
~After the word 'regret' all I heard was 'blah blah blah' Charlie Brown's mom.

Essentially, even though I have the contract job, I still need an job with benefits or I will either have to (1) pay through the nose to get Nat'l Guard benefits (thru O) or (2) continue to work at SB after Ethan arrives...neither scenario is all that appealing to me.

O's work benefits are pitiful and are ridiculously expensive, so that's not an option either.

If I stay at SB (which I REALLY REALLY REALLY don't want to do), my little man will essentially grow up without a mother because I will be working outside the house during the day AND at night. Oh joy!!

Oh yeah, if my maternity leave from SB starts on 1/1/08 then I'll have to be back there on 3/24/08 - which totally stinks.

I'm so sick of carrying the burden of responsibility. I wish I could just let go and embrace the gypsy's really what's inside me anyway.

Ultimately, I'm still in the job market, but there's no sense in applying for anything 'til early Feb or later cuz there's certainly no hiding the PG now.


Amy said...

Oh that sucks, I'm sorry!

I think you should still apply for jobs. The interview process could take long enough that they wouldn't be able to hire anyone until well after you've had the baby. Or if you're the right person they'll wait. It's not unlike if you say, "I need to give one months' notice at my current position."

At least if you don't get any of them, you don't expect to at this point anyway, so it couldn't make you feel any worse. Hopefully.

Mary said...

that truly sucks about UT - so sorry to hear it. I guess the good news is you have a job. Benefits are important there still an option to go permanent at this company and get benefits thru them? Hope so. I hope you have a good weekend!!

Freebird said...

That's truly sucks. Sorry about this. I hope something great comes through really soon.

krystyn said...

Yep-I'm basically hopeless at this point so if something good were to happen to me, I'd probably fall outta my chair and/or die of shock.

As for going perm @ current job - they mentioned it, but that's 6 months down the road and I don't want to be working at SB 'til then just to have benefits. It's also not a 'sure thing' and there are many things about the job that I'm finding out now, that make it more and more less ideal.

If I wasn't having a kid, I wouldn't care about benefits and would go without...not so much an option anymore.

Cathleen said...

I'm so sorry it didn't work out for you!

Look at the bright side at least they let you know. The last job interview I went on I heard NOTHING for 2 months. I finally called them and their response was "I didn't realize you hadn't gotten any feedback, we couldn't match your salary needs and chose someone else". Good thing I wasn't holding out for them.

I hope something better comes along for you in 2008. Try to enjoy the holidays regardless of the work situation.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Janeen Jordan said...

I am so sorry to hear the news. Their loss totally@! Can I ask a personal come O can't get a second job?? I just hate so much that the financial burden is on your shoulders!!

krystyn said...

Janeen-I've often asked that question myself. From time to time he mentions getting a 2nd job, but never follows through. He does get OT weekly, but not a substantial amount to make *that* much of a difference. I told him recently that I'm tired of the burden being on me...not sure if that'll change anything.

Nichole said...

I'm so sorry they didn't offer you the job at the university. :-( But Janeen brings up an excellent point! What the heck? So you're supposed to carry a pregnancy, give birth, be a mommy when he's out of the country *and* ensure the financial stability of your family? That seems like an awful lot for one person. I can't help much from this distance, but if there is anything I can do to help support you with this heavy burden, please let me know. {{hug}}

krystyn said...

Thank you Nichole. Yep, it's been hard lately to not feel somewhat resentful for being the one responsible for everything...I never wanted it to be this way & unfortunately it's how it has turned out. He often promises a brighter future, but he made me many promises b4 the wedding that have not come to fruition. Now I only believe what I see.

em said...

:( I'm so sorry Krystyn. I know this wasn't the news you were hoping for, which is so tough right now.