just get thru 3 days and you'll be fine" are now on my sh-t list...just kidding, but still.~OK, we are through the 'infamous' 3rd night and there were no miracles my friends. All those people who told me "
~Mom came over to provide a support system for me. Thank goodness too because I just may have caved last night if she wasn't there. He was SOOOO tired when I got home from work and ended up taking a super late nap - I tried to prevent it, but failed...he woke around 7pm and so clearly there was no way he was going to bed around 8:30pm.
~Finally @ 9:30pm I put him in the crib and the crying saga began. I started @ 8 minute intervals, increased to 15 repeatedly rubbing his back to encourage him to fall asleep. I finally gave up the back rubbing because it was SO not working and I decided to let him cry 'til 11pm and then try to rub his back again to get him to sleep hoping he would be worn out by then. That's what ended up happening. And oh-so-lucky me...he woke up only 1.5 hrs later @ 12:30am.
~After checking on him @ 12:30am, I decided to just let him go for 30 or more minutes at a time. He HAS to tire himself out @ some point, right? Well, I apparently have the world's MOST stubborn child...he lasted until 3:30am and remained STANDING UP in his crib the majority of the time. In fact, he even fell asleep standing up while leaning on the crib...nice huh?
~Since a little humor is always helpful in this sort of situation. Mom and I were watching him on the monitor and he was kneeling in the crib, holding on to the railings and was clearly nodding off but furiously fighting it. He looked like a bobble-head doll. We could only see the back of him, but it was freakin' hilarious. I felt bad for him @ the same time though. :(
~After falling asleep @ 3:30am, he woke @ 5:30am!!! WTH? So he slept a grand total of 3.5 hours last night, just like me. Awesome!! I took him out of the crib @ 5:30am and we laid on the couch together until 6:30am when I had to get ready for work. He pretty much slept that hour too...so wow 4.5 hrs total. He will probably be TONS of fun today for the sitter. I wish I was with him instead.
~So, yes I really wanted to cave and just take him back to my bed. Even more so because my left boob feels like it is going to explode resulting in a breastmilk shower for anyone standing within 10 feet of me. I have 'expressed' some to relieve some of the pain/pressure, but it seems to be filling back up pretty darn quickly. Thankfully, the right boob is playing along nicely and cooperating with my plan.
~My plan for tonight is to put him in the crib @ 9pm, or earlier if he appears tired and just leave him alone with larger time intervals....say 45-60 minutes. Last night, after about 45 minutes alone, he finally started to poop out...so even though it feels awful, I think I'll let him go and hopefully he'll give up sooner and just freakin' fall asleep. Whenever I would go in and check on him, it only seemed to upset him more when I would leave, whereas leaving him along for longer periods of time gave him the opportunity to calm himself more (yay). It was so frustrating watching him on the monitor just stand at the crib railing when if he just would have laid down, he would have zonked out in 5 seconds flat. He was (is) sooooo tired.
~As for progress, there was definitely less crying last night, even though there was MUCH less sleeping.
~And as for my feelings, well, I'm thinking E and I just need to hop the next plane to Europe where its completely 'normal' and accepted to nurse your child until they are 3-4-5 years old. Clearly I don't want to nurse that long, but this process totally sucks and I need results dammit. I'm feeling very sad and my sadness increases as bedtime nears, I also feel like it will never work and that he may never get the hang of this sleeping thing, I mean if he only knew how AWESOME sleep is. I don't know if I can do this for another 4-5 nights. When did I become such a mush? Oh yeah, the day E was born probably.
~It will be increasingly difficult if O comes back and sleeps @ the house too. Just thinking about that stresses me out. My mom's husband comes home from out-of-town tomorrow and O will likely not want to stay there at that point, even though he still could, he may feel uncomfortable. He's weird like that.
~So I'm feeling a little (alot) blue today. I hate this process. All I want to do is pick E up and cuddle him. I'm tired of hearing how others have had quick success with this process. I'm feeling like a bad mom and a failure. What am I doing wrong? I mean, it's not that complicated so really what's going on? I've followed the 'rules' (or whatever you want to call them) to a "t"...so I guess I have a slow learner on my hands, at least with regards to sleep...
~I did get a bunch of hugs and kisses before I left for work, so that was awesome.