Wednesday, May 07, 2008

~in a funk~

I can't help but feel a bit on the depressed side these days. I've done a 180 in terms of where & when I want to work. I only have 2 wks left here and I'm unbelievably sad to be leaving. I've finally started to really get to know some people here and make what could be some lasting friendships and now it's coming to an end. That stinks.

In addition, I'm really stressed out about the financial piece - as I've mentioned before. And then there are the scheduling issues with going to the hospital job. Crap! Why is this happening like this? I'm so frustrated and cannot seem to find a solution or anything to give myself some peace of mind. I would love to put the hospital off another 2 wks but I fear they would tell me to 'take a hike' considering that I've already made them wait 4 wks since receiving the offer.

I really hope my co-worker is right about her intuition/gut feeling that the woman will back out of taking this job. I wish she would and I wish she'd inform them of such decision within the next 2 wks so I can stay.

I finally have the perfect childcare arrangements which works wonderfully right now. Unfortunately, she is 30 minutes from my home which makes it difficult/inconvenient to use her once I leave this job. Sure I don't like this commute or the amount of gas I burn lately, but other than that, all is wonderful.

Honestly, I know I've fret over lots of things in my life, but I don't think I've ever been as worried about things as I am right now. Maybe it's because I have someone else to worry about besides myself. That must be the reason.

And of course, I would not have to worry so much if my 'lovely' husband would pursue a better job...or if he had not turned down what was a marvelous offer...but that's another story that I will not go into as it just infuriates me and I don't need to feel that way right now.

There is one other reason why I don't want to leave this job, but I cannot disclose that information. Let me just say it increases the level of difficulty and hurt in leaving this place.


~**Dawn**~ said...

I wish I had some words of wisdom. Or a crystal ball so I could foretell your future for you. In fact, I wish I had something better to offer you than cyber hugs. =(

Anonymous said...

Here's hoping things will get better, or at least work out so you feel more comfortable, even if the situation remains less than your ideal. If you put on a super sunny attitude, will O start being more worried and proactive? That's how me and hubby are, totally opposite in our emotions. Sometimes one of us will get into a funk purposely just to get the other one out of theirs.

Nichole M said...

I'm sorry the hospital job isn't turning out to fix so many of your issues, which you thought it would. And I'm sorry you're having to bear this all on your shoulders, which is what it seems. :-(

Freebird said...

I hope things turn around for you and fast.

Mary said...

I hate that you're bearing all the burden here. Big hugs, and if you need to talk you know where to find me!!

krystyn said...

Dawn-A crystal ball would be awesome...I could really use one right now. Wouldn't that be nice?!

Amy- No, the attitude change won't help, believe me. He passed up a perfectly good job offer that would have increased his salary by abouat 20k...don't ask me why - to this day I do not know. I have my suspicions.

krystyn said...

Nichole-Nora-Mary - thank you!!!