Thursday, December 16, 2010

Reverb - Day 16

Friendship.

How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? 

I don't think it's been ONE particular friendship, but an overall look at my friendships (or lack thereof) in general during this year.

I've disconnected from a few who I felt weren't "there for me" when I needed them OR simply can't handle it if I'm not Sally Sunshine 24/7. Honestly, I want to know WHOSE life is ALL SUNSHINE 24/7?!? Must be nice.

Anyway, I've also just come to realize that I don't have a close friend who CAN handle hearing about things when they're bad or when I'm down...which sucks, because we all need to just get things off our chest or simply be heard. Sharing this w/a friend holds a lot more value (for me) than with a stranger (i.e. counselor).

I realize I'm not always the most positive person in the world, but experience has shaped me this way...you see, when you get your hopes up and then are continually let down, it tends to make you see things a bit more realistically and sometimes negatively. Once upon a time I was really happy and probably more "sunshiney" but right now, not so much. That's just the way it is.

And so, in looking at my friendships and how they ebb and flow, I've become less open, both here on my blog and in real life. What's the point in sharing/venting when no one really wants to hear it? I realize everyone out there isn't a counselor or even has counseling (AKA listening) skills...and so I'll use my journal and a private blog for now and hope that works for me.

And lastly, I've been on the other end of this...I recently had a friend go thru some pretty hard stuff and noticed her  (negative & depressing) posts on FB, which were very unlike her. I reached out to her and let her know I was there for her if she needed to talk etc....just so happens, she too is a counselor. 

All that to say, even if you can't lend an ear, I will still hear you out in your time of need.

1 comment:

Amy said...

I don't have a close friend either. Heck, I don't even really have any friends and if it wasn't for the people I have "met" blogging or being able to chat with my IRL friends on Facebook, I wouldn't talk to anybody but David and the girls.

I don't feel like anybody I really know would want to sit and listen to me *truly* complain (because contrary to what my sister says I don't view my FB statuses as complaining, I'm just trying to be funny). Maybe that is a wrong assumption of me - because I would totally listen to a friend "complain". Maybe I feel like my problems are so specific and there's certain people who wouldn't want to hear it - like anybody who is not done having kids, which is mostly everybody I know. Plus I have so, so little faith in people, I don't trust them to just listen and not minimize my feelings - like "Julia will be just fine" and "You have two kids still, you shouldn't be sad you lost one." As though they have a crystal ball and know what Julia will be able to do, and like the fact that I have two kids makes up for not having the third.

Anyway. . .you can always write to me I will listen!