Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Reverb - Day 21

Future self. 

Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)

Advice for the year ahead:
*try to continue being strong
*remind yourself that "this too shall pass"
*take time for yourself & leave the guilt behind (ha!)

Note to myself 10 years ago...I really wish I had had this note back in 2001, that's for sure. Here goes...

Dear 29 year old K:

Congratulations!! You have just accepted a recruiting job with Motorola IN Mexico...a goal you set for yourself just a few short years ago. Way to go!! Have fun and enjoy it...just remember that culturally not everyone will fully accept a young, white female in a professional role. They will try to walk all over you and disrespect you...stand tall, grow a thicker skin and show them you know what you are doing.

After six months living at the AZ/Mexico border, you will think you have found the "man of your dreams"...at least it appears that way for a while. You could not be more wrong. Take it from me and end it, kick him to the curb and out of YOUR house and move on. You'll save yourself truckloads of sadness, anger and bitterness if you just take my word for it.

When that job at Motorola ends due to constant layoffs...enjoy your six months of unemployment instead of stressing so badly, it's your first time ever being unemployed and you'll find something else eventually, so enjoy the free time while you have it.

When you are offered a full time, albeit low-paying mental health research job at the Southwestern Medical Center in Dallas, take it...even if it means leaving your house (and O!) behind before selling it. You just might meet a great doctor or two and well, who knows where that might lead. At least you would be back in Dallas a bit sooner, a whole lot happier and close to family and friends.

In 2004, your house in AZ sells and you are back in Dallas. Happy! Don't believe the promise-making phone calls that start coming in from AZ. Look the other way and start anew. Stop doing things in your life to make others happy and start living for yourself. Don't give in to the pressure. Don't settle. Just don't!!

Don't bother moving to Knoxville, TN...the city is boring and offers nothing. Also, the graduate degree you are thinking about pursuing will end up costing you a fortune and you'll probably end up not even using it since salaries are so low in the profession as well as the city. Also, while being near mom and dad is another reason for moving to TN, mom's time will be consumed sucked dry by her new husband and time with you will be extremely limited almost non-existent. Dad will eventually move 90 minutes away so you won't see him that often either. Either stay in TX or move to Orlando, FL like you've been dreaming about for so long. Start living for yourself (2nd reminder!).

Finally, be kind, know that getting married or having a man in your life is not the be-all, end-all...at the end of the day, relationships are overrated and you've already had tons of fun doing things on your own. Embrace it. Quit worrying about making others happy. Live for YOURSELF!!


K in 2010


Anonymous said...

I think it's interesting that you would tell 2001 K to ditch O ASAP, even though that means 2011 K would never have E. I say the same about law school - I shouldn't have gone - which annoys David because then we'd never have met.

K13 said...

I guess it's easy to say because it's just a silly prompt and when I finish writing it, nothing changes and I still have E. While I love him immensely, if I'd never had him, I wouldn't know what I would be missing. And I'd never trade him just to be rid of all of O's BS, I'd just rather be rid of O!

Anonymous said...

That is what I think - if I'd never have met David I wouldn't know the difference. And I'm sure I would've found some other guy to marry and I would've been happy and had kids that I would've like just as much as the ones I have now. But you are right, it is easy to say because it's not like it can ever happen!

Travel & Dive Girl said...

Very insightful post. It's easy to look back and know that exact moment in life when everything changed - for better or worse. Everything happens for a reason (or so I'm told). I like to believe what doesn't kill us just makes us stronger and you are a strong woman.

~**Dawn**~ said...

That 'live for yourself' part? That's really important. I hope 2011 K listens to that advice--it's never too late. Some people may try to tell you that's selfish but the fact is that when you live for yourself, you suddenly have so much more to give the people you love, both in quantity & quality. You can't give the best of yourself when you don't start with living a life that leaves you feeling nurtured & fulfilled.